


False Hope Is A Bitch

by trash (AdrienWrites)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Nightmares, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, aren't i a bundle of joy, basically just a mess of mental health issues, can i add to these later?, i mean that'll probably happen so just to be sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-05-21 04:50:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 22,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6038719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrienWrites/pseuds/trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day after they emerge from the underground, things start to go downhill. Teen and up for mental health shit and bad words. No censor over here.</p><p>Shoutout to my amazing sort-of-beta-reader SoulRipperAdri who catches all my fuck ups and horrible, mangled formatting messes! :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1) this is my first Undertale fanfiction.  
> 2) this is the first fanfiction I actually plan on finishing- if anyone likes it, that is.  
> 3) I personally know the agony of having to wait for a fic to update so I'll be uploading regularly, at least once a week.  
> 4) if anyone wants me to continue this just... leave a comment I guess?  
> 5) i have absolutely no clue how old frisk is in this. no fucking clue. it's a problem. I'm thinking..... in the 13-14 area. I'll get back to you on that!  
> 6) there will be no romance other than what is canon. and... I'm sorry, I have nothing against Soriel but I've tried to write it and I just can't. there might be some queerplatonic sans/frisk though! because oh man, I am codependent sans/frisk trash. hardcore.

Frisk woke with the sun, blinking blearily as the delighted cries of monsterkind penetrated the thin sheets of their tent. _This is their first sunrise_ , they realised. This was the first time that any of these wonderful, kind creatures had ever seen the rising of the eternal symbol of hope in the watercolour sky. Any frustration they might have felt at their early awakening quickly dissipated and they stumbled out into the light among the trees, making the trek to the top of the mountain. Monster silhouettes littered the precipice. They trod sleepily over to the soft and comforting figure at the head of it all and gently tapped her arm. 

“Oh! My child, you have joined us! I had wished to let you regain your strength, but I am glad you are with us to enjoy the rising of your sun.” Frisk leaned into the warm woollen embrace of the goat monster. 

“BROTHER! YOU ARE LATE! YOU HAVE ALMOST MISSED THE WAKING OF THE SUN!” Papyrus’ eternally enthusiastic voice rose above the gasps and wonderment of the crowd. 

“nah bro, i was just letting you see it first. yknow, i was wondering when the sun would rise… then it dawned on me.” Papyrus’ aggravated screams shattered the peace as he stormed over to greet Undyne and Alphys, who were making their way over to where Frisk stood in their mother’s embrace. 

“Sup nerds!” Somehow, even Undyne managed to maintain some level of vigour at this early hour. Frisk was impressed. Alphys, however, looked to be even worse off than they were- her glasses were perched crookedly on her nose, and her faded plaid pyjama sleeves were drooped in a very kawaii fashion over her gnawed-on claws. Frisk shot the scientist a sympathetic glance and plopped down into the grass, letting their eyelids slip shut as the voices of their friends lulled them into a half-awake stupor. 

“hey, kid.” Their eyes shot open, startled, until they noticed the comforting presence of their friendly neighborhood skeleton at their side. “you seem… bone tired.” They let out a breathy approximation of a laugh, slowly coming back out of their exhausted haze. They glanced uneasily around at the ever-growing crowd of monsters. “c'mon. you look like you’d rather not be here, and i can’t blame ya.” He extended a bony hand and gently heaved them to their feet. To his mild surprise, their grip tightened slightly around his fingers and they gently swung their conjoined hands. They hummed as they walked down the winding path, passing by the tents and other such makeshift shelters that littered the sparsely forested mountainside. Sans glanced down at the small, quiet human beside him- were all humans this small and quiet? he didn’t think so- and asked “what’re you singing, kid?” 

They blinked owlishly up at him before responding (he couldn’t help but feel a flicker of pride that the kid was talking more. in the beginning, they'd barely spoken at all, but after making new friends in the underground he’d noticed they had started to open up a bit more) “do you remember the statue in the rain in waterfall?" "yeah- why?" 

"If you give it an umbrella, a music box starts to play.” Sans thought back to the weathered stone figure, enduring the perpetual downfall that plagued Waterfall. Somehow, in all his aimless meanderings, trying to find new life in the underground hell, he’d never thought to give it an umbrella. This kid was something else, he knew that much. Something else entirely. 

“maybe when we go back to get Pap’s stuff, you can show me.” Their eyes brightened a bit and they nodded, tugging him along as they wandered on the face the new adventure.

The rest of the day was comprised mainly of exploring the mountainside and surrounding forests, and rigging up an abundance of tents with the enormous sheets that Asgore had brought up from New Home. Frisk, of course, delighted in repurposing a particularly satiny sheet into a cape. This was marvelous fun until they managed to get Papyrus tangled in the other end of it and sent him tumbling down the slope. They apologised profusely and decided that perhaps taking the sheet-cape off would be a good idea. 

"REALLY, HUMAN! I AM FINE! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM MUCH TOO STRONG TO BE INJURED BY A SILLY FALL!" Frisk still hovered anxiously over him, following him around until Toriel eventually called them back to their shared tent for dinner and a bedtime story. At this, Papyrus dashed off to find Sans for _his_ bedtime story, and Frisk soon drifted off, nestled snugly in their blankets and listening to the quiet hum of Toriel's storytelling. As they sunk deeper into their dreamland, they felt a loving paw brush their bangs away from their forehead. 

"Goodnight, my child."

And then they were asleep.


	2. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here we go.

_They were running. Their feet pounded on the slick cobalt rock, scrabbling for purchase in the marshy mess. Glimmering stones winked cheekily down at them from the walls, mocking their efforts. They gasped as they stumbled, tumbling to a halt next to an echo flower that mimicked their panicked scream as the aquamarine spear tip crashed into their chest, splitting through skin and ripping apart their ribs. They spasmed in utter agony, heat and searing pain lancing through their mangled chest cavity. Their vision faded to black, a sea of shining blue marred by a deep, crimson red._

They jolted awake with a garbled yell, clutching at their chest and gasping desperately for breath. They’d thought… they’d hoped that once they got aboveground, the nightmares would finally leave them. As their breathing slowed and tears dripped silently down their face, they thought almost bitterly that no, that would be too easy. They couldn’t forget. They didn’t deserve to forget. Luckily, Toriel had already left the tent they shared, feeling that she should get to work as soon as possible. Having gotten a taste of what the surface was like, almost every monster wanted to settle down there as soon as possible, and Toriel had taken it upon herself to assist the monsters that had found refuge in the ruins. (She had left a note next to a sticky-sweet cinnamon bunny. A quiet warmth filled their chest- she had remembered that they preferred cinnamon after all. Times like this, Frisk thought that Toriel was just too good to be true.) They scrubbed at their eyes with tiny fists, pushing any Bad Thoughts to the back of their mind before setting out to join Sans and Papyrus in the transportation of their belongings to the settlement that may monsters were calling “Ebbot.” Evidently, the trend of unoriginal names was fated to continue. Enjoying their breakfast, laughing at Sans' newest puns, and nodding cheerfully at Papyrus as he waxed poetic about his action figures, Frisk let themselves think that maybe, just maybe, it was all uphill from here.

“COME, FRISK! I WILL SHOW YOU THE REST OF MY AMAZING ACTION FIGURE COLLECTION!” Frisk hung back, taking in their surroundings. It looked so different with half of the monsters gone and the other half bustling about in their rush to move aboveground. They had finally made it through Hotland and the Core, stopping only to wave a quick hello to Alphys as she bustled about packing her things. Apparently Undyne would be arriving later to help lift the heavier things (which were most of the lab’s contents, to be honest.) Now their boots shuffled through damp mud, their path illuminated by the small glowing mushrooms that for some reason squeaked when you poked them. “you’d better hurry up, kid. wouldn’t want to get lost in here.” They shivered slightly, remembering their frightened forage through the confusing, labyrinthine paths, always afraid that each dead end would bring another attacker. Walking just a little bit quicker, they nervously tugged at Sans’ sleeve. Seeing their anxious expression, he quickly deduced what they wanted and wrapped his bony fingers around theirs. They felt like ceramic, cool to the touch and much smoother than actual bones should be. Frisk filed that in their mental folder of “I’m going to assume it’s a magical skeleton thing” along with “how does his face move what the heck” and “where does the food go???” Papyrus whistled cheerfully as they forged on. Echo flowers let loose a cacophony of voices as they passed by. Crimson splatters marred the aquamarine petals- Frisk gasped and pulled away, blinking rapidly. The flower glowed cheerfully up at them, bright and blue. There was no blood to be seen. “kid? you ok there?” Oh, right- they were still holding Sans’ hand, and he’d had to take a step back in order to maintain the death grip they had on his hand. Frisk took a steadying breath, then nodded. Sans shot a worried glance at them. He’d say that they looked like they had just seen a ghost, except ghosts really weren’t that uncommon among monsters and they were pretty good friends with Napstablook. _They said they were fine. Even so..._ resolving to keep a closer eye on the kid, Sans gently squeezed their hand once, as if to say “hey. i’m here.” Frisk squeezed back, and they meandered onwards after Papyrus, enjoying eachother’s company and the sound of water echoing through the caverns.

Frisk breathed in the ever present aroma of petrichor that lingered in Waterfall. Every so often, a monster would pass them by- they had seen at least 27 Temmies already. Frisk had absolutely no idea where they had all come from. They decided not to question it. They were almost to Snowdin- Papyrus had dashed ahead of Sans and Frisk, shouting that “I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOU ARRIVE, SMALL ONE! AND YOU TOO, SANS.” Frisk liked Sans- he never demanded conversation, but was easy to talk to and be around. They knew that no matter what the occasion, he would have some sort of pun at the ready- it was actually quite an admirable skill. They also knew that the saddest people tend to smile the widest, but they hadn’t yet figured out how to mend the broken bits of Sans that only they seemed to see. There were benefits to being exceptionally quiet- you learn to observe more, to rely on body language and hidden cues that often go unnoticed. But, they did what they could, and whenever Sans seemed exceptionally un-Sanslike, they made an extra effort to crack more puns and give more hugs. It was the least they could do.

They were brought out of this line of thinking by a sudden and unexpected visit with the floor. Sans’ hand slipped out of theirs as they stumbled, hitting the ground in a manner almost identical to the frequent and unfortunate mishaps of their monster-kid friend. “woah, kiddo! don’t go falling for me, now.” Frisk would have laughed, except-

everything  
went  
wrong.

_-They gasped as they stumbled, tumbling to a halt next to an echo flower that mocked their panicked scream as the aquamarine spear tip crashed into their chest-_

They had to run. They had to get up they had to run they had to RUN except their legs wouldn't work and oh god, it was too late now, wasn't it? They shoved themselves desperately into a corner, curling up like an infant and hyperventilating as-

_-splitting through skin and ripping apart their ribs-_

“frisk? kiddo, what’s wrong?” 

the discordant clang of metal on stone rang throughout the cavern.

Frisk screamed.

“fucking-fuck. calm down kid, ok? please, cmon, just-”

They screwed their eyes shut, shaking violently and waiting for the inevitable shattering of bone and obliteration of organs. Their breath came in heaving gasps until-

they let out a strangled wheeze and slumped over onto the floor, allowing the creeping darkness to overtake their mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't you love cliffhangers? because I sure do!
> 
> the disjointed bit at the end is me attempting to convey how I think/feel during a panic attack, so that's why it's a bit choppy


	3. Still Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow 3 chapters in 3 days i'm on a roll
> 
> fun fact: while i was writing this, i made a typo.   
> what i meant to write: "Frisk flashed him a small smile."  
> what i wrote: "Frisk flashed him a small skeleton."
> 
> T_T

Sans was panicked, to say the least. He didn’t know what the fuck was going on- one minute the kid is fine, albeit looking a little tired and worse for wear, and then-  
His hands started to shake. _get it together, sans. you need to help frisk. now. _He gently scooped the kid up in his arms. They stirred as he did so, blinking confusedly and looking- quite frankly- like hell. “hey, uh…” he didn’t know what to say. He cleared his throat. Sweat beaded on his skull, and he wished that he had a free hand to wipe it off. “you… are you ok?” They blinked rapidly, then shook their head ‘no’ and buried their face in Sans’ jacket. “ok. ok. i’m taking you to my house. we’ll talk later, ok? you’re gonna be fine.” Sans didn’t know who he was trying to reassure more- Frisk, or himself.__

__One shortcut later Sans was in his bedroom. He set Frisk down on his bare mattress as carefully as he could, quickly unfurling the creased blanket and tucking it around the shivering child. They burrowed deeper into the covers, tears slipping unnoticed past the bags under their eyes. He made to draw back, then thought better of it and settled himself on the bed, leaning into the corner and pulling Frisk into his arms. They sniffled pathetically, then sunk into his chest with a shaky sigh. “kid… what the hell was that?” Forget censorship. Sans was too rattled to bother with that right now. Their only response was to cling harder to the skeleton. He tried again. “frisk… buddy…” He pulled back to look at their face. They had stopped crying, at least, but their pleading expression led him to believe that they weren’t really capable of responding at the moment. Fuck. A deafening crash emanated from the kitchen, and Sans remembered that Papyrus must be expecting them- through the front door, and in a much better state than the two currently were. Double fuck. (Because even though the kid was the one who had just done whatever the hell that was, Sans was pretty freaked himself. He barely dealt with his own problems and was in no way practiced in the art of dealing with other people’s issues- especially not at this level.) A gentle tap on his radius brought him to the sudden realisation that he had been zoned out, in a “i can’t deal with my life right now” sort of way. Frisk looked up at him with concern and cocked their head to the side in a silent question. “i’m fine, kiddo. don’t even think about worrying about me. i’m gonna go talk to pap-” Frisk’s eyes widened in alarm and they sat up, shaking their head frantically. “ok, ok, i won’t tell him anything. i’ll just say that you fell, and got kinda shaken up. alright?” They nodded and relaxed again, shifting to the side to allow Sans to untangle himself and go downstairs._ _

__Papyrus was attempting to clean what looked like charred spaghetti off of the floor when Sans strolled in. “OH! HELLO, SANS! I DID NOT HEAR YOU COME IN. WHICH IS IMPRESSIVE CONSIDERING I’VE BEEN WATCHING THE FRONT DOOR.”_ _

__“yeah, about that… the kid took a nosedive back in waterfall. i brought them back, took a shortcut-”_ _

__“IS THE HUMAN ALRIGHT?? WHERE ARE THEY?”_ _

__“bro. calm down. they’re on my bed, relaxing. now that they’re here in Snowdin, they need-”_ _

__“SANS NO”_ _

__“some time to chill.”_ _

__“SANS I WOULD BE SCREAMING AT YOU RIGHT NOW IF IT WERE NOT FOR OUR UNWELL GUEST. ALSO, YOUR ROOM IS FAR TOO MESSY TO HOUSE A HUMAN! BRING THEM DOWNSTAIRS- THERE IS PLENTY OF ROOM ON THE COUCH.”_ _

__“k bro. sounds like a plan.” Sans took a shortcut back up to his room- stairs were a hassle- and froze when he saw the now-sleeping human nestled on his bed. Quietly, he padded over to his dresser and retrieved a rumpled, yet surprisingly clean, blanket from a drawer. He hated to disturb them, but Papyrus was right- his room wasn’t the best place for a kid. In one fluid movement, he lifted Frisk into his arms, wrapped them in the new blanket, and shortcutted to the couch where he then deposited the sleeping Frisk-burrito._ _

__“SAN-” Papyrus strode out of the kitchen, then abruptly shut his mouth upon seeing the dormant human on his couch. “OH.” Papyrus’ “quiet voice” was more like a normal person’s almost-yell, but it was an improvement on his typical volume. “SHOULD WE LET FRISK REST?”_ _

__“probably. they seemed bone-tired to me.”_ _

__“OH MY GOD SANS YOU USE THAT ONE ALL THE TIME I AM BANNING THAT PUN STARTING YESTERDAY”_ _

__Sans chuckled to himself as Papyrus stormed up to his bedroom to pack his things. He turned his attention back to Frisk, who moved a bit in their sleep. He was about to leave them be when they shifteed again, a frown replacing their just previously relaxed expression. A whimper escaped the small bundle of blankets and Sans approached cautiously, reaching out to gently shake their shoulder. “Frisk?” They gasped quietly as they woke, blinking in confusion before tugging him down onto the couch beside them. “what is it?” They didn’t respond. Instead, they draped the blanket over the two of them and leaned comfortably into his side. Getting the idea, he turned on the TV to some rerun of a cooking show starring Mettaton. It was actually decent television when the robot wasn’t attempting to use “human soul” as an ingredient. There they remained, each gaining quiet comfort from the other, until Papyrus was ready to leave._ _

__Their journey back was a tranquil one. The moment they left Snowdin, Sans reached out and took Frisk’s hand. They mostly stared at the ground as they walked. It was only when they felt the first fat drops of “rain” plop onto their head that they let go, trotting off to retrieve an umbrella and beckoning for the skelebros to follow as they gave it to the weathered statue. Moments later, a tinkling melody reverberated through the grotto. Papyrus gasped in overjoyed wonder and stage whispered “THIS IS THE SONG UNDYNE PLAYS ON HER PIANO!” If Sans noticed Frisk stiffen at the mention of their friend, he didn’t say anything. He walked slowly over to the statue, a strange expression on his face, and looked up at the source of the cascade._ _

__“this is pretty cool, kid. thanks.” Frisk flashed him a small smile before tentatively rejoining their hands. After what seemed like an eternity of listening to the song, Frisk noiselessly reclaimed the umbrella, giving the statue a fond pat on the head before they continued on their journey back to the surface._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is garbage. i am garbage. *dunks self into trash can*
> 
> another fun fact: i enjoy dunking trash into trash cans and saying "geeeeeeet dunked on" as i do so. this game has ruined me.
> 
> oh also! if you notice any errors (spelling, punctuation, capitalization, grammar, flow, etc) please tell me in the comments!


	4. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some introspection occurs, which is just my lazy way of providing backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops, busy weekend! i'll probably upload primarily on weekdays.  
> i've just realised that i have no idea what sort of grammar i've been using in these comments, and i've also been paying absolutely no attention to whether i'm typing shit in the summary section or the notes.  
> also, i have no idea if anyone is actually keeping up with this. proooobably not. ohwell

Frisk didn’t know what to do.

Once they’d returned to the surface, Sans had said that he needed to “take care of something.” Evidently, “something” meant using a risky combination of blue magic and shortcuts to literally transport his ENTIRE HOUSE to the surface, barely managing to set it into place (so that’s what the markers Frisk had seen were for) before collapsing. After much panic and commotion, Papyrus was summoned, and he immediately took on the role of Head Nurse. Sans was currently residing in Papyrus’ room upon his brother’s insistence (NO ONE CAN HEAL IN THAT CATASTROPHE HE CALLS A BEDROOM!) Frisk had refused to leave Sans’ side except for short bathroom breaks that they forestalled as long as they could. He was possibly their best friend, and they were worried, to say the least. He looked so… small, lying there- a light blue bundle in an (oversized) child’s bed. His normally startlingly white complexion was tinted with a foggy, grey-blue hue, and his hands were quite literally colder than ice. Though the temperature of the bone made it a bit painful, Frisk held Sans’ hand for almost the entirety of the 3 days he was unconscious. Papyrus said that this was all normal for such a case, and that with proper care, Sans would recover quickly and fully. Still, something in the eternally cheerful skeleton’s eyes seemed a bit dimmer than usual. Sure, Sans maintained a blatantly insouciant attitude regarding his own welfare, but to push himself past what his already ridiculously overpowered magical abilities could handle? That would take true devotion to the task at hand- and a true lack of regard for his own well being. (They pushed aside any questions about how they knew how powerful his magic was. After… that time… they’d sometimes get pieces of information without ever having learned them.) Frisk sighed shakily, running a trembling hand through their hair. Running on nothing but coffee for 3 days straight was taking its toll on them. Still… the relative silence had given them plenty of time to think. They felt incredibly awkward about what Sans had witnessed. During their time in the underground, any nightmares they’d had transpired in abandoned areas or behind locked doors. To Frisk, it was nothing new. Still, they’d never had a panic attack like that during their adventure. They’d had them before they fell- hence how they knew what they were- but once they’d hit that surprisingly plush bed of golden flowers, they’d had a surprisingly good grip on their… issues.

Wait…

Their eyes widened. Maybe…

They’d known that Chara was there from the moment they began to share a body. A wisp of a soul, clinging to existence with sheer force of will, and immediately taking host in the first suitably determined soul it could find. After all, two souls in one body could have devastating effects if the host soul wasn’t strong enough. Frisk was a perfect fit. They shivered involuntarily at the memory of their meeting- distilled hate and unadulterated rage flowing between the two before either could make sense of how to deal with this. Chara was so… angry. Their raw fury had frightened them, and the new soul had quickly drawn in on themselves, separating their consciousnesses until it was more like a voice in Frisk’s head and less like two beings blended into one. They had fought against the violent and destructive urges that Chara had let run loose, and it was a constant challenge to keep their… houseguest… in check. Still, they’d noticed that they seemed to be able to react a little quicker in battles, and there was a steadiness to their hands when all they wanted to do was cower from the violence thrust upon them. Maybe, just maybe, as Chara had done their best to protect Frisk’s body, they’d worked to protect their mind, too- after all, if Frisk’s body was harmed, where would that leave Chara? By helping to reign in Frisk’s trauma, they’d better ensured that they’d have a fully functional vessel for when-

A weak cough snapped them out of their thinking. Sans’ eyelids lifted lazily, and he took in his surroundings and the sunlight filtering in through the window. “welp. looks like that worked.” he turned to Frisk. “hey buddy. what’re you doing here?” 

They cleared their throat a bit. “uh- um… watching… making sure you’re okay.” He glanced downwards to their hands.

“i’m gonna hazard a guess and say that holding hands is a thing we do now. i gotta say, kid… i know i’m hot stuff, but your mom would kill me if i stole her child away on some romantic getaway.” He winked. Their expression shifted to one of mild befuddlement until they realised that he was joking. Suddenly, they remembered- Papyrus! He had, with much reluctance, returned to assisting Toriel with general proceedings, but had told Frisk to text him if anything happened while he was out. They gently withdrew their hand to pull out their phone.

\--  
He’s awake. He seems ok. Making jokes, too. 

WONDERFUL! THIS IS INDEED GREAT NEWS! I WILL BE THERE SOON!  
\--

They had no sooner finished reading this when the enthused tromping of boots across hardwood floors alerted them to Papyrus’ presence. “SANS!” The door flung open and slammed against the wall, startling frisk enough that they toppled out of their chair and onto the floor. Sans grinned tiredly up at Papyrus. 

“hey bro.”

“SANS! I AM GLAD YOU ARE WELL! THOUGH OF COURSE, WITH THE GREAT PAPYRUS TAKING CARE OF YOU, HOW COULD YOU NOT BE?” He made his way to the bedside in two long strides, scooping up his smaller brother in his arms and enveloping him in a hug that left his legs dangling above the floor. Frisk noticed how the tension seemed to leave the taller skeleton as he held his brother in his arms, and how Sans leaned his head contentedly against Papyrus’ broad chest. After a moment, he set Sans down on the bed with an almost uncharacteristic gentleness. “YOU MUST CONTINUE TO REST, BROTHER. WHAT YOU DID WAS VERY DANGEROUS! WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT ME TO LOOK AFTER YOU?”

“you’re the best, pap. no doubt we’d all be lost without you.”

“YOU ARE RIGHT, OF COURSE.” Papyrus seemed to just then remember that Frisk was still there- albeit in a different place than where he’d left them. “FRISK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?” They looked down, an expression of mild annoyance on their face.  
“I… can’t really get up.” 

“OH NO! I KNEW YOU SHOULD HAVE EATEN FOOD! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR HUMANS- MORE THAN IT IS FOR SKELETONS! NO WORRIES, HUMAN- I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL CARRY YOU TO MISS TORIEL!”

Sans’ brow furrowed. “wait, bro. what’s wrong with the kid?” 

“THEY INSISTED ON STAYING BY YOUR SIDE WHILE YOU WERE HEALING! THEY ONLY LEFT TO DO WHATEVER IT IS HUMANS DO AFTER THEY DRINK. THEY CLAIMED THAT FOOD WOULD ONLY KEEP THEM AWAY LONGER OR MAKE THEM SLEEPY.”

“they didn’t sleep? Toriel was ok with this?”

“FRISK WAS… VERY INSISTENT.”

“how long was i out?”

Frisk piped up from Papyrus’ arms. “Three days.”

Sans’ eyes dimmed a bit. “oh, bud- you gotta take better care of yourself. don’t go pushing yourself like this on my account.”

They shrugged and yawned simultaneously in response. Already their cradled position was quickly dragging them down into sleep. The voices of the two brothers seemed as if they were filtering through a woolen blanket until finally, the world faded into a warm, comfortable black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see i can be nice i cant dump all the angst at once i have a PLAN and boy will it be FUN FUN FUN :D


	5. Day 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not sure how i feel about this chapter.  
> also, im making a conscious effort to keep each chapter to either sans' or frisk's POV from now on. mabe ill label them? hm...
> 
> also, would anyone be interested in following my tumblr? its literallythemostgarbageoftrash and right now its mostly undertale. i ordered a drawing tablet today (YAY!!) so ill start uploading my own art soon... maybe...
> 
> anywho, if any of you do follow my tumblr, i would literally blush so hard and get super happy if you shot me a fanmailaskthingidontknow telling me you came from here! but... i know not many people read this so :P

Sans didn’t know what to do.

After the House Incident and no less than three lectures from his friends and brother on the dangers of using too much magic at once, Sans (and Frisk) had taken another day to recuperate. Once Sans was back up on his feet, he’d wandered around, finding new shortcuts and keeping an eye out for the kid- but they were nowhere to be found. They weren’t responding to his texts, though Papyrus had texted them upon his request and they had confirmed that yes, they were fine- they just needed some alone time. He really didn’t want to make things more awkward than they already were, so rather than make an issue out of this, he waited. Still, after almost three days of the kid carefully avoiding him, he was beginning to get a bit more worried than he already was. If this whole freak-out affair was really nothing consequential, would they be doing whatever they could to stay out of his sight?

Sans sighed internally. Prooobably not. Great. This was supposed to be their happily ever after. Now, something was wrong with the same kid that had written the end of their story in the first place.

Sans owed a lot to Frisk. Before they fell, he hadn’t been doing so hot. _heh. of course not. you lived in Snowdin. _Bad puns aside, being eternally trapped underground, having wasted his life on pursuits he couldn’t even remember- it wore a guy down. Of course, being a skeleton, it was easy to just shift his face into a smile and let it stay there. After years of maintaning a carefully constructed grin at all times, it took conscious effort for him to emote visually- which was something Frisk had been trying to get him to work on. Man. Just another way he owed the kid. If they hadn’t been so friendly, so merciful- he didn’t know if he would have been able to live in that dreaded, depressing monotony for much longer. The other monsters, they had reasons to get up every morning. Jobs, friends, hobbies- things that Sans just didn’t have the energy to maintain. Really, the only reason Sans got up each day was because of his brother- and then the kid fell, giving him the extra push he needed to see that maybe things could get better. He felt pathetic, really- what respectable, grown monster depends on a little kid for mental stability? He was weak, in every sense of the word. His bones were fragile. His HP hung by a single thread. His attack and defense were laughable. But… even if he did hate himself for needing them… even if he did flinch for reasons he couldn’t (or didn’t want to) explain when knives fit much too comfortably in their hands…__

__They were his friend. His best friend, even. And if Sans knew anything, it was that he cared about this child a hell of a lot. With this thought in mind, he rose up from the sagging old couch and stretched, sighing as bones shifted back into place all up his spine._ _

__“pap? i’m going out.” Papyrus had insisted on Sans telling him every time he left the house- it seemed that his little stunt had freaked his brother out a bit._ _

__“ALRIGHT! THERE WILL BE HOT SPAGHETTI WAITING FOR YOU UPON YOUR RETURN!”_ _

__Sans had to smile- genuinely- at his brother’s enthusiasm. Chuckling to himself, he opened the front door-  
only to see Frisk standing in front of it, shifting their weight from one foot to the other._ _

__“oh- hey, buddy. i was just going out to look for you, actually.” Their eyes widened a bit before they carefully schooled their features into a more neutral expression. _They always do that… why? _He let that question take root in the back of his mind before deciding to think more on it later. “why don’t we go for a walk?” They fell quietly in step beside him, feet crinkling softly through the first of the fall leaves to grace the ground. They walked past the houses in various stages of completion in an almost-but-not-quite-tense silence. Sans was the first to break it. “so… you wanna tell me what that was back in waterfall?” Frisk stumbled a bit. They shook their head slowly. He stopped, then turned to them with a sigh. “look. no bones about it, there are things i'd rather not talk about as well. but… you gave me quite a shock there, kid. don’t you think that deserves some sort of explanation?” He waited patiently as they stared intently at the leaves beneath their feet. “Frisk…” They looked up, eyes hidden behind brown fringe.___ _

____“I just had a nightmare, then panicked. That’s all.” Their voice quavered almost imperceptibly._ _ _ _

____“hm…” Sans’ gaze softened. He didn’t often have nightmares- he typically couldn’t stay asleep long enough for that- but the ones he did have… they’d made him freeze in his tracks later on more times than he’d like to remember. He felt like there was more to this than the kid was willing to divulge, but seeing how hard they were trying to keep their voice steady, he decided to cut them a break. “if you have any more, you know you can always come to me and Papyrus, right?” They nodded amenably. “welp. we’ve been gone long enough for Papyrus to have finished cooking… wanna stay for dinner?” His plan had worked- the mood lightened tangibly as Papyrus’ cooking was brought up._ _ _ _

____“um… sure. i’ll text mom and let her know.” They took out their phone and let their fingers fly across the keyboard, dutifully telling their goatmom where they’d be for the evening._ _ _ _

____Sans grinned. “great. after all… Paps’ spaghetti is _impastable _to pass up.”___ _ _ _

______Frisk dissolved into giggles as the two retraced their steps, making their way back to the cozy little house of the great Spaghettore._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again- if you notice any errors, just let me know in the comments! i typically upload these right after writing them, and though i proofread, im sure i miss stuff .~.


	6. Day 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im not sure i really like this chapter... ugh.

_Blood dripped down their face and into their eyes, clouding their vision. They blinked furiously, stumbling desperately backwards as a metallic fist flew past their face with brutal, bone-crushing force. Mettaton halted his attack to pose, displaying his new body for all his viewers to see and smirking coyly at the camera. Despite their assortment of injuries and their failing strength, Frisk posed alongside the robot, hoping in vain that maybe if the ratings were high enough, he would let them go._  
_But Frisk never got that far._  
_Soon their brief reprieve was over and they scrambled to avoid bombs that spun across the ground and detonated in dazzling bursts of light. Their heart pounded frantically as they leapt across the stage- only for a meticulously polished boot to come crashing in, splintering their ribs and sending them rolling across the floor. They coughed weakly, sobbing in pain. “Now now, darling, don’t cry- you’ll ruin your makeup!” He chuckled slyly before bringing the shoe down onto them with deadly force. They cried out in terror as brilliant magenta filled their vision. There was a burst of all consuming agony, and then everything went black._

Frisk awoke with a scream, limbs flailing in a tangled mess of blankets. Once their panic had abated, they began to cry quietly, curling on their side and clinging tightly to a plush Temmie that Toriel had knitted for them. They glanced at the small, old fashioned alarm clock on their bedside table- 3:27 AM. _Well… guess I’m not sleeping much tonight._ This was the sixth nightmare of this nature they’d had since returning to the surface, and it had only been two weeks. Much to Frisk's dismay, they seemed to be increasing in frequency, and by the third one they no longer spoke during the day following a dream such as this. Sans had picked up on this- along with their overly twitchy demeanor and steadfast avoidance of most other monsters. It was a good thing that in the new house that Toriel and Frisk had on the surface, their respective bedrooms were far enough apart that she couldn’t hear anything unusual.

Around 4:00, they slipped out of bed and shuffled down the hall in sock feet, snagging a book from the overstuffed shelf and making themselves comfortable by the eternally burning fire in the same cozy chair that Toriel had used down in the ruins. She had brought all of her books with her as well, saying that “I cannot simply leave my collection behind, my child. Each book has such wonderful memories attached to it!” They turned to the first page of the one they’d grabbed- ironically, it was “72 Uses For Snails”- the book Toriel had read to them at the start of their journey. What had technically only been a little more than a month ago felt like years in the past. Frisk didn’t remember past resets much- these memories only resurfaced once in a while in their sleep- but they did remember all the saves and reloads it had taken them to make it to the end of this journey. Mentally brushing away these sorts of thoughts, they returned to their book, being sure to come up with as many snail puns as they could along the way.

“Frisk? You must wake up- It is not good to sleep through a meal.” They blinked up at her, dazed and disoriented. Had they dozed off? They hadn't noticed. “Breakfast is ready, small one. I have made butterscotch-cinnamon pancakes.” They perked up visibly at this. They trotted off to their room to put on proper clothes and attempt to tame their hair, and when they returned to the dining room there was a heaping pile of golden pancakes waiting for them. (The layout of this house was almost exactly the same as the one underground. The only difference was that there was no basement, and that Toriel’s room was at the far end of the hall with a bathroom in between the two bedrooms.) They heard their mom bustling about in the kitchen, probably washing up. Rather than talking, they pulled out their phone and texted her.

\--  
If it isn’t too much trouble, can Sans and Papyrus come over for pancakes too?

 **Of course! The more the merrier!**  
\--

As it turned out, Papyrus was out training with Undyne. Even if there was no more need for a royal guard, Undyne wasn’t about to let Papyrus start slacking on his workouts. Sans arrived soon after Frisk had texted him, and the three dug into the deliciously fluffy breakfast cakes.

It didn’t take long for the stack to disappear, and once it had, Toriel ushered Sans and Frisk out of the kitchen, refusing their attempts to help wash the dishes. “Why don’t you two go enjoy yourselves? You have the whole of this lovely day to have fun!” After tightly wrapping their arms around her in a parting hug, Frisk followed Sans out of the house at his behest.

“Alphys said something about a movie marathon the other day. Think we should take her up on that offer?” he asked. Frisk nodded enthusiastically and they soon found themselves at the conveniently easy-to-draw house of the former royal scientist.

“O-oh! Hi Frisk… and- and Sans… I hadn’t quite finished cleaning… u-um, l-let me just…” Alphys dashed around, gathering empty bottles of soda, empty Cup Noodle cups, papers crammed to the margins with chicken-scratch, and sullied lab coats, hastily tossing them out of sight. Frisk hesitantly stepped inside, Sans close behind. It was laid out pretty much the same as the lab in Hotland, except that the upstairs hallway lead only to closed doors (bedrooms?) and the old “bathroom” door lead to the kitchen. The main room of the house had a large, plush, vibrantly magenta couch in front of the large TV that Alphys had tracked Frisk with. The fridge was absent from its spot beside the desk, which was overflowing with action figures and even more papers. They thought they spied a drawing of a cute anime girl with cat ears among the mess, but they couldn't be sure. “M-make yourself a-at home! Um- the c-couch is probably the best spot… i think…” Frisk smiled encouragingly at her before sitting next to Sans, who was somehow already lounging in the corner seat. They sat in the middle, reserving the other corner for Alphys, and watched as she perused a towering stack of plastic cases and eventually selected three. “I… um… I got th-these ordered, and they seemed to be pretty popular! Which one d-do you want t-to watch f-first? There’s ‘Kiki’s Delivery Service’, ‘My Neighbor Totoro’, and ‘Ponyo’.” Sans shrugged noncommittally, then looked over a Frisk. They thought for a moment, then held up three fingers- that was the one Alphys had sounded most excited about, and Frisk thought they all looked fun.

“the third one looks good.” Sans spoke up and Frisk let out a mental sigh of relief.

“O- okay!! I’ll just… put it in then!” She hurried over and took a seat, waiting with bated breath as the movie began. It was just as charming as the cover had made it seem. Although Frisk was enamored by the animating style and storyline of the movie, they couldn’t help but begin to drift off, eyelids eventually fluttering closed as their body succumbed to the allure of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have this stupid headcanon that Alphys' aboveground house is literally just a white cube (because of the bed in her lab)
> 
> also i love studio ghibli cmon frisk you are sleeping through ART


	7. Still Day 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just by a show of hands, did anyone notice the colour correlation i slipped in there?
> 
> yep. that was intentional. :)
> 
>  
> 
> man these chapters seem so **short** im sorry wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh sansy  
> you think this is bad  
> you think youre worried now  
> its gonna get  
>  **so**  
>  much  
> worse

After about half an hour, Sans felt Frisk shift next to him. He wouldn’t have paid any mind, except he was startled to feel a small, warm body cuddling into him, using him as a pillow. He looked over and his half-formed question died on his lips- they were asleep. _Oh._ Obviously, he’d noticed that they weren’t speaking today- knowing the vague idea of the intensity of their nightmares, he should have assumed that they’d be exhausted. He glanced over at Alphys, quietly saying her name when she proved to be too engrossed in the movie to realise she was being watched. She turned her head and he gestured towards the sleeping child. Her mouth formed an “oh” shape and she nodded, returning her attention to the screen.

Sans too fell asleep after a while, lulled by the cheerful background noise and the warm weight beside him. When he finally opened his eyes, he realised that the TV was off and that Alphys was long since gone. He delicately lifted Frisk off of him and laid them fully on the couch, getting up in search of the missing monster.

He found her humming what he recognised as some anime opening song to herself as she bustled around the kitchen, stirring a packet of powdered seasonings into a steaming cup of (currently flavourless) soup. “hey.” She stifled a shriek and whirled around to face him. By some miracle, her soup remained unspilled. 

“D-don’t sc-scare me like t-that!” 

“sorry.” Sans smothered a laugh and pulled out his phone to check the time- _shit. After 12. Better get some lunch in the kid soon._ His eyes narrowed slightly at a notification on his screen- and upon unlocking the phone to investigate, he froze. There, in full-colour glory, was a picture taken prior to his awakening- a picture of Sans and Frisk snuggling just enough to be embarrassing, sleeping on Alphys’ couch. The caption read “tfw the CUTEST THING happens RIGHT IN YOUR LIVING ROOM” and a glance at the username confirmed just who had posted this. Although really, who else could it have been? He slowly looked up at Alphys, grinning all the while. His pupils faded to pinpricks. "so. **alphys.** " She took a nervous step towards the door.

“u-um… uhhh… I… I gotta go! Do! Something! Now!” She fled the room as fast as she possibly could and dashed upstairs, slamming a door behind her in her haste. Sans sighed, and then cocked his head to the side as he thought he heard a noise from the other room. 

“frisk?” He called their name as he walked into the room, just in time to watch as their eyes fluttered open. “hey, did you-” He looked on as their eyes focused in on the cushion they were resting on- and a split second later, they had flung themselves to the floor with a terrified scream, scrambling to their feet and stumbling in a half-asleep haze towards Sans. He snapped out of his horrified paralysis just in time to grab them as they ran past, holding them in place as they began to hyperventilate.

_fuck. fucking fuck, not again, what do i do-_

Their breathing increased in speed and their trembling intensified. Desperately grasping at straws for something, _anything_ that would help, he released them and quickly whipped off his hoodie, draping it over them like a blanket as their legs gave out. Their breath came in heaving gasps. Sans waited anxiously and noticed Alphys frozen in shock at the bottom of the escalator. 

Frisk choked on air, tears dripping into the fur-lined hood of his jacket. Although they didn’t seem to be getting better, they certainly weren’t getting worse. _Maybe the jacket was actually helping?_ Still, it wasn't enough. He needed to try something else, and fast. “frisk- it’s ok. you’re ok.” On impulse, he offered out his hand. After a moment of hesitation, they grabbed it, their palm clammy and fingers shaking. If Sans hadn’t been made of nothing but bone, he would probably be in mild pain from how tightly they clung to him. His thumb absentmindedly stroked the back of their hand. They seemed mesmerised by this simple movement, and he noticed how they tugged the jacket more tightly around them as they focused on their linked hands. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of Sans worry and waiting, their breathing evened out. They slipped their arms into the sleeves of his jacket and then proceeded to wipe the tears from their face, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. This… panic attack, he supposed, was over, and that was what mattered right now. He tentatively held out his arms, offering a hug, and was caught by surprise as Frisk flung themselves into his arms, clinging to him like a lifeline. He decided that tomorrow, when they were up to speaking, he’d have a serious discussion with them about all this. With a heavy heart, Sans realised that he needed answers from Frisk- whether they wanted to give them or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so! i actually kinda enjoyed writing this bit! 
> 
> i based frisks panic attack, and how they calm down from it, on my own experiences. hand holding- yes. blankets, comfort objects- yes. hugs afterwards (not during ohjeeze)- yes yes yes. i understand that people experience these things differently but i figured it was better to base it off of something i know well.
> 
> i wasnt about to make them black out again though. im not that mean. _yet._ <3 also, i just wanted to clarify that yes, thats a thing that can happen- when you hyperventilate you fuck up your carbon dioxide levels and can faint, which is Not Fun.


	8. Day 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow im so sorry this took so long!! and its so short too... augh T_T luckily i have the next chapter almost entirely written so itll be up tomorrow! 
> 
> also, im revising my earlier approximation of their age (if youre just now reading this fic, ive switched it in the beginning so pay this no mind)  
> im thinking theyre like... 13-14? young enough to be a "kid" but old enough for me to slip some codependent Sans in later on :) man i love cuddling on couches just as a thing. its great. no this is not shippy pleASE theyre like  
> not an adult
> 
> UPDATE I WAS REREADING THIS AND NOTICED THAT I SPELLED "the" WRONG *screams*
> 
>  
> 
> it has also come to my attention that a certain human i know has learned the title of this and may read it. you know who you are... if you read this... (oh god help me please dont)  
> i have no excuses  
> judge away T_T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://somethinggeeky.com/science-hoodies/ifoundthishumerushoodiepremium  
> this is the hoodie  
> science puns are AMAZING i hope you agree

Sans trudged wearily into the kitchen, fumbling about for a mug that wasn't filthy or currently serving as a change receptacle. After bringing the kid home the previous day, he’d returned to Alphys’ house. He’d explained what he could, and made her swear to secrecy- he was positive Frisk wouldn’t want this information spread around. He’d gotten little sleep that night, as per usual, and the few hours he’d managed to snooze through were plagued with Frisk’s distressed screams and panicked eyes. After downing his second cup of coffee, he tugged on a grey hoodie with the words “I found this humerus” and a picture of a bone. Papyrus hated it. It was Sans’ second favourite, but he’d left his light blue jacket of choice with Frisk. They’d seemed to use it as armour, burrowing into the soft down and cocooning themselves from the outside world. Speaking of Frisk…

\--

hey buddy. you up?

Yes

can i come talk to you?

…

c’mon kid, i’m worried about you

...  
Alright  
You can come

\--

 

Soon enough, Sans was seated amongst a nest of blankets on Frisk’s bed with Frisk seated between his legs and resting against his chest. His jacket swamped them a bit, and they looked every bit the child they were in the overlarge article of clothing. He sighed.

“frisk. buddy. kiddo. i don’t expect you to tell me everything. i respect that, but this… whatever it is… it scares me.” Sans felt his pupils dim, reflecting on the gravity of the situation. “please. you don’t have to tell anyone else. i won’t tell anyone else. but… you have to tell someone. you can’t keep this locked up. and if this has anything to do with the timelines…” he felt Frisk stiffen. _Bingo._ “i’m probably the only guy who’d understand.” As he finished, he looped his arms around their stomach and felt their arms come to rest over his, in an odd sort of hug. They took a shuddering breath, and when they began to speak, he had to strain to hear them.

“You… you know about the resets?”

 

“yeah. long story short, i have a machine that detects those sorts of things. timeline erasure, mainly.”

“O-oh. Well, there were only three main timelines… I think…” they trailed off, looking perturbed. “I remember that I reset, but I can’t remember the timeline itself. Only… only through dreams. And… resetting wasn’t the only thing I could do. I could… I could save, when I was determined enough. Then, if I died, I would be sent back to that save- or I could force myself back if I did something wrong.”

“wait- if you died?” Sans asked quietly, hollowly. Frisk whimpered.

“I… so many times, Sans… I died so many times… I never wanted to hurt anyone, so they just hurt me without fear of retaliation… I see it, feel it in my dreams. The fire, burning me alive… the sp-spears,” they choked on their words and began to shake. Sans held them closer. “the spears, st-stabbing, and, and, and the bones and the b-bombs and that horrid trident and and Flowey and oh god Sans it all hurt so much and I was so scared, I just wanted to be friends, I didn’t want to be alone anymore, Sans.” They were sobbing freely now, and Sans realised that he was crying too. Tears slipped silently from twin voids and splashed gently down onto the tousled head in front of him. No wonder the kid couldn’t fucking sleep. They were reliving their worst moments in 4-D technicolor, traumatised beyond belief. 

“f-frisk…” he shut his eyes, took a calming breath, and tried again. “kid… i’m so, so sorry. that is…” his voice broke. “i know how hard this must be for you. and i want you to know… that i’m here for you. when these… nightmares… come… text me. i’ll be here, ok? you don’t have to do this alone.” Frisk nodded weakly, and Sans tugged the blankets over the both of them. As the rest of the mountain settlement began to get on with their day, Sans and Frisk slumbered peacefully, comforted by each other’s presence and blissfully unaware of the world around them.


	9. -2 Week Time Lapse-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically a transitiony thing. fun times ahead!

For a while, this new system seemed to be working out pretty well. Whenever Frisk fell victim to the demons of their past, all it took was a quick text to Sans and they’d have someone to cuddle with for the rest of the night. They couldn’t help but feel infinitely safer when he was around, and they noticed that after nights like this, Sans seemed a little less tired and a little less sad. 

By now, Toriel had become accustomed to finding the skeleton and human together in Frisk’s bed. Frisk knew that she worried that they were doing things that kids their age shouldn’t be, but she placed an enormous amount of trust in her child. Sometimes Frisk thought she trusted them too much- not that they would ever take advantage of it. 

The next two weeks passed by in a blur.

Toriel began teaching Frisk how to knit. They were working on a sweater for Sans- they wanted to repay him for all the times he lent them his jacket. 

Sans surprised them with a book of sign language. They didn’t know where he’d gotten it, but the two of them spent more than a few sleepless nights poring over it’s pages and working out how exactly to translate puns into a language of hands. 

Papyrus discovered ravioli, which was possibly the worst thing in the history of ever to occur. They loved Pap, they really did, but there’s only so much chocolate-chili pepper ravioli a person can eat.

Nights previously spent sobbing alone were now replaced by warm embraces and murmured promises of safety and protection. When one night Sans slipped up, talking about how worthless and empty he felt sometimes, how he didn’t know how to live life like it mattered anymore, how knowing that the world has been reset but not remembering a damn thing made him realise how pointless it is to even try, Frisk made sure to always give Sans little reminders of just how cherished he was to everyone around him. They were both a bit broken, yes- but together, they managed to feel more whole than they did apart.

****

****

33 days. It took 33 days for the last remnants of Chara’s wall to collapse.

33 days, and all hell broke loose.


	10. Day 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >> The REAL story begins.

_It was cold. It was cold, and they knew where they were, they knew who they would face, and all they could do was watch._

_They weren’t in control anymore._

_“HALT, HUMAN!”_

_Frisk wanted to scream, wanted to run, wanted to drop the weapon and **walk away,** but they could only watch as their body advanced._

_Step_  
_after step_  
_after step._

_Papyrus’ words echoed dimly in their ears and they couldn't look away- everything Chara saw, they saw._

_Everything Chara did, they felt._

_They felt as their body fell into a fighting stance, relaxed and poised to strike._

_They felt the impact of weapon on bone, shattering and rendering limbs obsolete._

_They felt the dust of one of their best friends sift through their fingers like granulated silk._

_They watched, and as they watched, they felt themselves break._

Frisk wrenched themselves awake in a panic. They’d never had a nightmare like that before. They sobbed, violent tremors rippling through their body. Despite the time (somewhere around 2 AM), they scrambled out of bed, pulling a blanket around their shoulders and making their way through the night to Sans and Papyrus’ house. They needed to see that he was ok, that he wasn't-

The door was locked, but Sans had given them a key. They were grateful for that now, as their shaking hands opened the door, letting it click softly shut behind them as they half stumbled, half ran up the stairs to where they knew Papyrus should be. 

They hesitated- this felt more like an invasion of privacy than they’d like to admit- but the image of their dusty hands and bloodstained clothes prompted them to open the door as quietly as they could. 

They sighed audibly in relief as they saw the lanky skeleton curled contently beneath his covers, snoring lightly. They sank slowly to the floor, not wanting to accept what Chara had done. Still… they had always known, hadn't they? They'd known when they'd woken up in that bed of flowers, clumsy in their own body and flinching away from knives for reasons they couldn't explain. They’d known when Chara was suspiciously silent, hatred and contempt leeching from them and into Frisk.

They'd known. They simply hadn't been willing to believe it. 

 

“FRISK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? HOW DID YOU GET HERE?” Frisk’s eyes snapped open and they blanched at the sight of Papyrus standing before them. They scrambled to their feet and backed away slowly- guilt and self hatred lay thick like tar in their heart. They didn’t deserve to be around the person they’d gotten killed.

“you ok?” Frisk jumped and whirled around at Sans’ voice. He looked drowsy and a bit befuddled- with good reason. Upon seeing their face, he instantly deemed them Not Okay and looked at them with concern written across his features. “hey, pap- i’m gonna walk them to toriel’s. she probably doesn’t know they’re gone. the kid must have sleepwalked.” Frisk nodded mutely, gratefully accepting the lie.

“OH! HUMAN, YOU MUST HAVE BEEN VERY TIRED TO SLEEPWALK ALL THE WAY TO MY HOUSE WITHOUT WAKING!” Papyrus seemed content with this excuse, and Frisk felt no need to shatter this delusion as Sans gently guided them back through the village, quickly arriving at their own front door. Before he even managed to knock, the door was flung open and Frisk was being pulled into a desperate hug. 

“My child! Oh, I was so worried about you… are you alright? Where did you wander off to? Please, do not scare me in this way!” Frisk felt tears forming and they hugged back before signing that they were going to their room. “Of course, Frisk. I am going to talk with Sans for a moment, if that is alright?” They nodded mutely before rushing off to their room, where they immediately collapsed onto their bed. 

They couldn’t bleach the image of their hands, so pale and dusty, from their mind.

They had let Chara in.

Chara had killed. Who, they weren't sure, but they had a sinking feeling- the Chara they knew wouldn't have been content until every last monster was reduced to ash.

Frisk’s stomach lurched and they flung themselves across the room to the small garbage can beside their desk, retching violently, last night’s dinner finding a new home at the bottom of the bin. There they remained, hunched over and gagging, tears flooding steadily down. They took in a shuddering breath as they felt a set of bony hands gently pull their hair back from their face. When they finally had nothing left in their stomach, they slumped, mutely allowing the hands to guide them to the bathroom. 

“take a shower. you’ll feel better.” His voice was gentle, but Frisk still couldn’t help but flinch. Sans turned around as Frisk stripped off their pyjamas, collecting them before he left.

Frisk was alone. 

They turned on the water and stepped in, shivering even though steam soon filled the room and their skin flushed bright red. Once the water began to run cold, they wrapped themselves in a towel and opened the door to find a small bundle of clothes sitting in front of the doorway. Upon picking them up, they realised that they were warm, (presumably courtesy of Toriel’s fire magic,) and they quickly put them on before slipping back into their room. They weren’t surprised to see Sans reclining on their bed, and they wordlessly climbed up beside him and allowed him to hug them against him. He felt… safe. Sturdy. He didn’t attempt to speak, to question them about what exactly was going on. He simply pulled them closer, holding them together as they fell apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor, poor frisk... forced to face the reality of what they allowed to happen. this should be interesting. :)
> 
> also, i feel like i didnt make it clear enough, but i didnt want to mess up the flow- frisk falls asleep on the floor. thats why their eyes "snap open"- papyrus woke up in the morning and found them there, and he woke them up.


	11. Day 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so so sorry it's been 5 days!!! i've been sleeping really poorly- yay, nightmares!- and i just haven't been sure where to go from here. luckily, i think i've got a good direction set for myself now, so i should be uploading every 2-3 days again!
> 
> im not positive im totally happy with this chapter, but ive rewritten it at least 3 times now and holy hell im not doing that again T_T

At some point, Frisk had fallen asleep. Toriel had peeked in to see Frisk nestled against Sans, held tightly in his trembling embrace. If she saw him shaking, she didn’t mention it. She simply stared, lost in thought, tears making their way unnoticed through her downy fur. Before he could think of something to say, she was gone.

During their earlier conversation, Toriel had addressed Sans with more seriousness than he was used to seeing from her. “Sans, I… I do not know what to do. Frisk is unwell, and I cannot help them.. I believe you know what is the matter. Please, Sans- what is wrong with my child? What can I do? I… I cannot lose another…” 

Sans closed his eyes and sighed, hands burrowing deeper into the pockets of his faded blue jacket. “…frisk doesn’t want me to tell you. hell, i’m not sure i’m the one who should. but seeing them lately.. they’ve only gotten worse. look. long story short, this kid is more determined than we ever realised. so determined that, given the right environment- say, one saturated with magic- they could mess with time.” 

Toriel gasped quietly, a dozen unreadable expressions flickering across her face at once. Sans forged onwards. “one main aspect of this is that back in the Underground, when they died, they could go back to a point where they had been determined enough to 'save', if you will- as if anything past that 'save' had never happened. unfortunately for them…” he trailed off, and Toriel looked down at her paws in horror. 

“they… they still remembered what had happened to them?” she queried tremulously. 

He nodded. “but no one else did. this kid… this kid remembers what it’s like to die. and from what they’ve told me… almost every monster down there was pretty keen on killing them. more than a few succeeded. that’s what they dream about.”

Toriel’s voice shook. “I do not… how can I help them? Why is Frisk’s condition worsening? I love them- and I believe you do too, Sans. Please. They are not… they will not talk to me. Please, help them.” Sans’ nonexistent gut twisted- was he really cut out for this sort of responsibility?- but he quickly shook off the hint of reluctance, his face displaying something that could almost be considered a frown. 

“i promise i’ll do whatever i can to help the kid.” 

Her eyes had widened at that, but before she could say another word, Sans had glanced warily down the hall, and the message was clear- Frisk should probably not be left alone for long. That was how, moments later, he came to see the kid on the floor, heaving so hard their tiny body could barely hold itself up. Instinctively, he found himself pulling their hair back, helping them up, holding them to his chest- because right now, they needed all the protection he could give them. And Sans had an inkling that whatever it was that was tearing them apart had just gotten a whole lot worse.

Unfortunately, Frisk hadn’t spoken at all since that day. For an entire week and a half, they stayed holed up in their room, slipping in and out of a nightmare-laced hellsleep. They no longer allowed Sans anywhere near them, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a bit hurt. Even their mother was only permitted to bring them food after her pleading and insistence that _please, Frisk, you must eat_ \- and whenever she did so, they were as far from the doorway as they could possibly get. Their eyes were always bloodshot, and when they had seen their reflection after one of their covert trips to the bathroom, they had screamed and sprinted from the room.

Toriel had found them curled underneath their bed, shivering, whispering- “Frisk not Chara Frisk not Chara Frisk not Chara”- like a mantra as they covered their ears with their trembling hands. Her dread flourished upon hearing the name.

By the time she had called Sans, it was too late.

Frisk was missing.


	12. Still Day 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hm. hmmmm. hm hm hm. where am i even going with this help me
> 
> i have a problem called after every chapter, i realise that it wont make full sense until a future chapter that i have planned. w h o o p s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> frisk
> 
> what are you doing
> 
> frisk
> 
> stahp
> 
>  
> 
> (ah yes. middle school memes. how lovely.)

Sharp gasps and thudding footsteps echoed off of the trees looming overhead.

_“Y... you... really hate me that much?”_

A branch snapped sharply as they stumbled, knees hitting the hard-packed earth with a dull thud. Grubby hands brushed dirt from stinging scrapes before pushing desperately off the ground. Onwards they ran, panting in the rapidly thinning air. 

_“Now I see who I was protecting by keeping you here.”_

A choked sob rang out, startling a bird nesting in the low-hanging branches. Tears blurred their vision until the landscape before them was reduced to a hazy blur of browns and greens.  
They kept running.

_“Not you… but them!”_

Their phone buzzed insistently in their pocket, but they barely registered the sensation as they tore up the side of the mountain as fast as their weakened legs could carry them.

Finally, Frisk reached their destination. Looking behind them, their head swam at the sight of their village, now pinpricks far below. Their feet ached and sweat streamed down their face, soaking into their favourite striped sweater. They pushed up their sleeves and sighed as the slight breeze caressed their exposed skin. The evidence of their self-hatred was scrawled red across the pale canvas of their inner arm.

It wasn’t something they talked about. It was their secret- mildly shameful, tinged with a bitter satisfaction that this- this they could control. This was their lifeline. This was their punishment.

This was all they deserved.

It was nearing nighttime now, and a chill crept into the air that was accentuated by Frisk’s now-damp clothes. They shivered lightly, tugging their sleeves back down and setting off to finish what they had started.

Dusk cloaked the hole from view until Frisk was almost on top of it. Their boots scuffed gently across the gound, sending a pebble careening into the murky darkness below. They thought they caught a glimpse of gold below them, but dismissed it with a shake of their head.

This time, they wouldn’t fail.

They figured that if they fell in just the right way, it wouldn’t matter what they landed on. And even if they didn’t, it wasn’t as if Toriel was there to heal them after. Their determination had been what had kept them alive in the first place. What would happen if Frisk was determined to no longer exist?

The lump in their pocket vibrated again- the nonstop deluge of attempted contact had begun mere minutes after they had fled up Mount Ebbot. They pulled out their phone and their resolve wavered upon seeing the rapidly compounding plethora of texts, missed calls, and voicemails from their friends and family. “No.” Their voice was rough and muted from disuse as they spoke aloud, admonishing themself for their selfishness. They slipped the device back into the pocket of their burr-covered shorts and fruitlessly attempted to stem the flow of tears that dripped down their cheeks. This was for everyone they loved. Frisk was a mess- a guilty, horrible, dangerous mess. They couldn’t bear the nightmares. They would give anything- **anything** \- to return to the nights when they were the one dying, their mouth stretched wide from screaming and not from that awful, sickening smile. The weight of their sins from other lives nudged them forward, nipping at their heels and pressing on their shoulders.

 

And then they fell.

 

 

 

“Well howdy, Frisk! **Boy, are _we_ glad to see you!** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...
> 
> i have a dilemma.
> 
> im thinking that the self harm bit seems a bit too... forced. obviously id talk more about it in later chapters, but i figured bringing it up beforehand would be good. however, i hadnt alluded to it at all before now...
> 
> i have a reason as to why, but im still worried it just interrupts the flow of the writing. any thoughts?
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO when people write fanfic... why do they write "their arms were covered in cuts" like i just want to know how the person managed to successfully wield a blade with their non dominant hand, especially after damaging that arm. you need a good level of control to make a straight line, put pressure, and not fuck everything up. like im sorry but my left hand is USELESS. im not kidding its the shittiest appendage i have how would that even w o r k pls explain


	13. STILL Day 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> today i discovered that i can write and upload chapters from my shitty first generation ipod! that means i can write wherever, whenever i want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo. uh. i miiiiight have forgotten that i had made frisk learn sign language? uh. i might go back and add a sentence or 2 about that later, but nothing story-changing. anywho, frisk signs when they are too distressed to talk. [this is frisk using sign language.] I'm so awful at this congruity thing holy shit sorry

Frisk groaned, head spinning, as they lifted their face from the bed of flowers. Their first thought was one of bitter self-hatred and bewilderment. _How am I alive? Why am I alive?! No! This isn't how it was supposed to go!_ Around them were the slick black walls of the Underground. Tears rolled down their dirt-smeared cheeks, landing on the soft petals below. _Wait a second-_  

the realization hit just as the vines did, wrenching them into the air and holding them there, their taut body forming a suspended X. Now they saw what they had been too distraught to notice at first- a gold-petaled flower grinning demonically up at them. "We've been waiting for you! Golly, you must be so confused right now!" He giggled, and the sound echoed harshly around the cavern. Frisk shivered and coughed weakly. 

"H... how am I n-not dead?" Their voice was soft like the wool of their sweater. Flowey smirked. 

"Didn't you know? After Chara fell, Toriel got some lowlife monster to do some magic and cushion the landing of anyone who fell down. You idiot- you wouldn't have died no matter what! Hee hee! That is why you're here, right? They said you'd probably try something like this. Hahaha- you're so predictable, Frisk!" His eyes shone with sickening glee. Frisk frowned in confusion. 

"We? They?" they questioned. Worry took root and sprouted in their stomach. Flowey cackled again, and this time it seemed to echo until it separated into two distinct laughs- one high and deranged, one lower and colder than the ice of Snowdin. A moment later, Frisk began thrashing wildly about in their bindings as their second assailant flickered into view.

"Greetings, Frisk. We have been waiting for you."

Frisk whimpered in fear as Chara stepped forward. They were vaguely translucent, appearing much as you would expect a ghost to look. They were washed out and pastel- the only true brightness was the ruby red glint of their eyes. Their mouth was curved into a disturbing grin, and even in their non-physical state the rosiness of their cheeks was apparent. Frisk's body began to shake as memories assaulted them- dust and blood coating their too-pale hands and streaking the ground where they walked.

Chara tsked as they observed Frisk's struggle. "You know, I did warn you that you would not like the consequences if you forced me to leave the body. We were so strong together, Frisk. You ruined that, and now you must pay the price." Their eyes turned cold and steely, examining the living child's soul. "Why are you crying, Frisk? Though, I suppose you always were a crybaby."

Frisk was sobbing- great, heaving sobs that left them unable to speak. Chara sighed in annoyance and exasperation. "Fine. Asriel, release their hands." 

Flowey whined, but relented when they glared pointedly at the vines. "Fiiiine. But only for you, Chara."  
Frisk's arms fell limply to their sides as the tendrils unwound, rewrapping themselves around their waist in order to keep them in place. They looked at the pair in confusion, then tentatively raised their hands in front of their chest and began to sign. 

[You killed my friends. You made _me_ kill my friends.] 

Chara scoffed. "They are not your friends, Frisk. They hurt you. They hurt us. Do you not remember? We could have erased this world together. All of your pain- gone.  Do you not want that? Is that not why you fell today?"

[ **No.** ] Frisk's hand came down sharp and strong in vehement disagreement. They took in a shuddering breath. "M-my happiness is not worth destroying my f-friends' lives. P-please, just let me go."

Chara's form flickered with rage. "Asriel was right. You are too weak to be of any use to me. What a shame. I had hoped that you would see reason. You already wish to die- why will you not give me your body?"

Frisk didn't respond. They cast their watering eyes down to the ground beneath them. Chara's voice changed tone- gaining an alluring, seductive lilt that caught the ensnared child's attention. "You are troubled by these memories at night, are you not? I can make them stop, Frisk. I can free you from the nightmares. Just give me your body, Frisk." Their breath hitched in their throat. It sounded tempting, to be honest. Would it really be so bad to just... give up?

Frisk never got to make that decision. Before they could respond, a flash of brilliant blue was quickly followed by a jagged, piercing scream. Frisk fell gracelessly to the floor as the vines were severed. "Asriel! What- Y O U." Chara turned to something behind Frisk and _growled_ , eyes blazing. Frisk curled in on on themselves and mewled in fear and pain. They wanted nothing more than to disappear. The sound of fighting faded as they retreated into their mind, panic and fear dominating any awareness of what the hell was happening.

"kid! frisk- are you ok? shit, ok- c'mon, bud. i'm taking you home." Frisk clung desperately to Sans as he gently helped them to their feet. They stumbled wearily into his arms, and cried quietly into his shoulder as he cradled them against his chest. Seeing that they were in no shape to walk anywhere on their own, he lifted them with the aid of his magic and carried them like one would carry a baby. "everything- everything's gonna be ok." His voice wavered slightly, and as he made his way back through the Ruins with Frisk in his arms, they wondered for the first time in their life if Sans was lying to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is like halfway done!


	14. I wonder what day it is? No way- still day 43!! *shocked*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why does this chapter seem so short????? wow im so sorry

Toriel was in a state of utter panic. Flames flickered between her fingers, her raw desperation leaking into the air. Sweat glistened on Sans' skull as he desperately attempted to remedy the situation. "ok. ok. we need to find the kid. look. you call undyne- she'll be quiet about it, but she'll gladly start a search party. i'll, uh, start looking now. they couldn't have gone too far." He felt a bit better having a plan in motion, though anxiety still churned in his nonexistent stomach. Toriel seemed to feel the same. 

"What am I to do in the meantime? I will not sit idly by while my child is in danger." Her eyes blazed with fury and fear. Sans casually took a step back. 

"well, uh... you know the kid pretty well. you could always go searching their favourite places, or something." Sans already had a good idea of where they might run off to, but he understood the importance of the motherly monster feeling like she was taking action. Luckily, she agreed to this plan, and Sans was soon standing over the same hole Frisk had fallen down. He took in the freshly made footprints and felt a stab of dread and panic as his suspicions were confirmed. _oh, shit. please don't be dead, please don't be dead..._

One shortcut later, he was faced with someone he'd never wanted to see again. 

Emerald-green vines held Frisk in place, limp and crying in the tendrils' embrace. He breathed a momentary sigh of relief- _they're alive-_ before noticing the other... kid? They looked demonic, to be quite honest, and unnervingly similar to Frisk. "...give me your body, Frisk." He had arrived just in time to catch the end of what was being said. He was horrified at what he heard. He was even more horrified that Frisk seemed to be actually considering it. Before he was even aware of what he was doing, gaster blasters were firing with ice-cold heat, searing through their bindings. Flowey screamed in shock and agony. _good. the little weed deserves it._ He wondered then if he had been too hasty, when the not-Frisk turned their raw, unbridled fury on him. Their eyes widened, recognising their foe, and Sans felt an icicle of fear at the sight of their gleaming red eyes, though he had no idea why. They growled at him, and he barely had time to summon a volley of bones before they were upon him, slashing and slicing with dizzying speed. _fuck, this kid is fast._ After sending wave after wave of ineffective attacks through the incorporeal child, Sans realized he needed to rethink his strategy. They'd sounded pretty distressed when he'd pruned Flowey... speaking of the flower, where was he? A quick glance across the cavern revealed that he was huddled in a corner, sullenly nursing his injuries, which were weeping an odd, blood-like substance. Sans felt no remorse as he conjured another blaster- pure white fangs parted as it charged, missing its target by a hair's breadth as demonkid launched themselves towards the flower and dragged him out of the beam's path. With a parting glare of utter hatred, they and the flower vanished into the Ruins.

Finally, Sans could focus on Frisk. They seemed to be having some sort of panic attack, curled tightly in on themselves among the luxuriously soft flower bed. He hurried over, any 'laziness' forgotten. "kid! frisk- are you ok? shit. ok- c'mon, bud. im taking you home." They lifted their tear-streaked face to look at him, and Sans flinched at their expression. They looked... broken. _oh, buddy, no. what's happened to you?_ A cursory glance quickly determined that they were in no way up to the ardurous task of making their way back through the Underground. Sans had exhausted enough of his magic that there was no feasible way for him to shortcut the both of them out of there, so he wrapped his arms protectively around their trembling body, his metaphorical heart splintering in his hollow chest. _i'm so sorry, frisk. i was supposed to protect you..._ "everything- everything's gonna be ok." Even as he said the words, he wasn't quite sure he believed them. On guard for Flowey and whoever the hell that weird kid had been, Sans began the trek back through the Ruins, wondering if anything would ever go right for the whimpering child in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think my favourite bit of this is Sans just caaasually stepping away from rage-mode tori  
> like, nope  
> no way  
> backing the fuck out of the danger zone  
> dont piss off goatmom  
> dont hurt her kids  
> she will EVISCERATE you  
> anyone in her way is just collateral damage


	15. Still Day Fucking 43 Maybe I Should Condense These Chapters...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seriously- should i condense some of the day 43 chapters?
> 
> ALSO IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT SHIT HAPPENED.  
> 1) i went to a FAIR! for the FIRST TIME in my nearing 17 years of existence! so that took up all of friday evening and then i slept over at my favourite humans house and crashed when i got back so basically there went like 2 1/2 days.  
> 2) my scoliosis decided to be an AWFUL BITCH and make it impossible for me to get up without extreme pain! so i was in bed a lot  
> 3) depressioooooon im so sorry i didnt feel motivated or anything.... T_T 
> 
> but heeeeres a chapter! which is probably shit but... meh

Once Sans and Frisk reached the now-abandoned home in the ruins, Sans was grateful for the still-made bed in the child's old bedroom. Frisk had begun to fall asleep during the journey, exhausted both physically and mentally. He deposited them on the mattress with the utmost care, slumping to the floor against the bed and quickly dozing off despite himself.

He jolted awake soon after, images of blood-red eyes and emerald-green vines contorting in his mind. He heaved himself off of the floor with a groan and turned to examine the sleeping human. Their hands were cold and trembling, cracked and caked with a slurry of soil and blood. He winced, then steeled himself for what came next. He wasn't too keen on the idea of disrobing an unconscious person, but he needed to make sure they weren't too badly injured before they continued on their way. Deciding to get the more uncomfortable bit out of the way first, he hesitantly tugged off the child's shorts, averting his eyes even though their undergarments covered anything of import. Nothing but a scrape or two. On to the top, then. Back on went the shorts and off came the sullied sweater.

Initially, all Sans saw was an impressive array of multicoloured bruises. Painful, yes, but some gentle prodding revealed no internal damage.

Then he saw their arm.

At first, he didn't know what he was looking at. Thin red lines stood out starkly against the soft skin of their arm. They were careful and deliberate, yet their angles and occasional shakiness showed the distress behind each mark. His mind reeled- could vines make marks like that? Did the demon kid? They had a knife-

_oh._

If Sans had possesed a heart, it would have stopped right then.

He had some limited knowledge of the issue of self harm. He was a skeleton- skin injuries weren't something he gave much thought to- and a large majority of monsters were otherwise deprived of human skin. But he had found things in the dump- books, movies, magazines, and the like- and at some point he had come across the concept.

_Self harm._

Frisk had done this to themselves. 

Sans found himself blinking back tears, boney phalanges brushing gently over what appeared to be years worth of ridged skin. Pale, white scars contrasted with the much more recent cuts. They varied in size and depth- none deep enough to cause serious damage, he concluded gratefully. One scar stood out among the rest- it was thicker, and a shiny pink hue that drew his dimmed pupils to it. He carefully traced over it with his thumb, pale blue streaks leaving trails down his face. Frisk shifted, and Sans flinched back in mild surprise as they regained consciousness. They seemed bleary and confused at first, but soon realised that they were wearing nothing on top but the tank top they had tugged their now-missing sweater over earlier that day. 

"No!" Their voice echoed, laced with panic, throughout the room. They scrambled to pull their arm back from Sans' grasp and tugged the sheets over the offending appendage. Pushing aside his shock at their outburst, Sans took a hasty step back, his boney hands held in front of him in an attempt to placate them. 

"hey... kid-frisk. buddy. i need you to calm down. i'm not mad, i'm just worried about you. can you calm down for me? c'mon- throw me a bone here, kid."

Frisk stared up at him, eyes wide and brimming with tears. Their breathing was ragged, their hands trembling even more than they had been before. Sans sat down cautiously on the bed, slowly reaching out and taking their hand in his. They bowed their head, scrubbing at their eyes with a grubby fist. He sighed wearily. "i'm guessing no one else knows, huh?" They shook their head fervently. "welp. it isn't my place to tell them." Their shoulders slumped, tension draining out of their shoulders. "but." They stiffened again, and Sans began rubbing circles on the back of their hand with his thumb in an effort to calm them. "we do need to talk about this. i'll let it slide until we get you rested up on the surface, but this isn't okay, kid. i can't just ignore this." His voice caught in his throat and he coughed awkwardly. "here." He helped them pull the woolen article back over their messy, leaf-littered hair, plucking a shred of vine from their bangs. "we'd better get back to the surface, kid. everyone's worried sick about you." Frisk stared guiltily down at Sans' slippered feet. _shit, kid._ He sighed, kneeling to allow the child to clamber carefully onto his back, bearing them onwards to where the barrier once was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of days i wonder if i should keep writing this tbh


	16. The Final Day 43 (Thank God)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1) i tried to make this at least 1000 words to make up for my AWFUL updating lately! luckily, im on spring break now, so i should be able to get a bunch of writing done.  
> 2) oh thank god, day 43 is FINALLY over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its tori time!  
> also, we get a closer look at everyones favourite murderchild!!
> 
> ...
> 
> what do you mean, theyre the only murderchild?
> 
> (in undertale i mean sh)

In retrospect, Toriel thought that she should have seen this coming.

Frisk had always seemed to Toriel to be a bit more fragile than they let on. Yes, they were determined beyond belief, but they were also only a child- a frightened, lonely child, thrust into a strange new world with danger at every turn. She had failed to protect them as a mother should, blinded by her own grief and bitterness, and she didn't know if she would ever forgive herself. She had sat passively by as Frisk spiraled deeper and deeper into whatever darkness lurked in their young mind- and now they were gone, fleeing once again from troubles they couldn't face alone.

_This is your own fault._

She thought back to the moments before their disappearance. She remembered their terror, their fear and trembling hands. She remembered their bloodshot eyes, which at first glance appeared to be a gleaming shade of red she had last seen long ago. She remembered the way they held themselves, like a cornered animal, afraid to make a move.

She remembered Chara.

Chara was a whirlwind, determined and sharp and brittle all at once. Their wit was as keen as the knives they used to garden, slashing through vines with a cold precision. Oftentimes they would come home scowling bitterly, guilt scrawled across their features and a crying Asriel not far behind. She would sit them down, gently working through the tangled mess of emotions and self-hate that roiled within the troubled child. They lashed out, afraid to hurt and afraid to be hurt. She had thought, that after all the time she'd spent with them, after all the love she'd poured into them, that they had started to get better…

But then they were dying and her kingdom was falling and her marriage was left in dusty shambles, all bitter reminders of the life she once had.

When Frisk had said their name with such desperate denial, such anxiety and dread, a cold hand of fear grasped her heart.

There were many things that Toriel didn't understand, and she had come to accept this. She had not understood Chara at first either, a bloody, dirty little creature, cowering with fear in their heart and hate in their eyes as they muttered about dying, over and over and over.

She realised now that she had never met anyone quite as determined as Chara.

Until Frisk had fallen.

Frisk was nearly everything Chara was not, all soft edges and tenderness and quiet obedience, very much the epitome of that old adage about children being seen and not heard. And yet they too possessed that quiet will to forge onwards, to do what needed to be done- even at the cost of their own life. A precious, wonderful life, that was now falling to pieces.

Tears trickled through her downy fur as she knelt, her paws twisting in the hand-knit quilt that lay across their bed. Frisk was nowhere to be found, and so she was here, lamenting her own shortcomings and wishing for nothing more than to see her child again.

_I cannot lose another…_

How had Frisk learned of her first human child? Why did they utter their name in such a tone? What could have happened to this small, innocent being to poison their mind with fear of a name that wasn't their own?

She remembered her conversation with Sans, and a fresh wave of grief rippled through her. Frisk had died- they had died, time and time again, forced to relive the worst moments of their life through the same awful determination that pushed them towards their goal. Toriel had no doubt that they had fallen too many times to those they now called their friends- she remembered her conversation with Undyne as they waited outside the newly-broken barrier for Frisk to say their goodbyes.

“Man, this kid is something else! We’re TOTALLY besties now, but back when I tried to ki-” The fearsome warrior stopped herself, sensing the danger that lay beyond the end of her sentence. “When I… sparred! With them! Yeah! They were weirdly good! Like, you'd think that such a pipsqueak like them would be AWFUL at that sort of thing, but it was almost like they knew my attacks before I even used them!” 

Toriel knew now that this was likely no coincidence or innate psychic ability on Frisk’s part.

And still they had befriended the creatures that had brought such trauma down upon them. They still trusted them, laughed with them, smiled with them- all the while knowing how it felt to be brought down by their hands.

What child wouldn't buckle under such an immense emotional load?

Toriel thought she might be sick. 

She was brought out of her reminiscing (and self-loathing) by a sharp rap on her front door, urgent and insistent. Wiping her eyes with her sleeve, she dashed over to the door and threw it open, hoping beyond hope for some news- any news- of her child.

Her heart leapt as she saw not just a bearer of news, but Frisk themself- clinging weakly to the back of an overexerted Sans. He grinned weakly up at her, skull dripping and bones shaking slightly. His smile didn’t reach his dull, pinprick eyes. “heya, tori. i found the kid, but… they’re not doin too hot.” The setting sun washed the two in a vaguely unsettling reddish light, highlighting the exhaustion in their features. She ushered them inside, directing Sans to the chair by the fire and hastening off to start a bath running- Frisk was absolutely filthy. Not bothering to put them down, Sans sunk into the cushions, letting them slip off of his back and next to him in the seat as they both fell into a tumultuous sleep.

When Toriel returned, she stepped lightly as not to wake the two. Rather, she quietly phoned Papyrus, requesting that he bring a change of clothes for Sans, and then proceeded to drain the water swirling at the bottom of the porcelain tub. Tomorrow morning, she would make sure that they both bathed and regained their strength. It was the least she could do to begin to make up for all the pain she had caused through her own inaction. However, she resolved that once they had all had a chance to freshen up and regain their strength, they were going to have a very long talk.

No more secrets were to be kept. No more would Frisk suffer in silence, afraid to reach out to the ones they loved the most. With something akin to determination in her weakly optimistic heart, Toriel fell asleep, letting herself dream of a future where they all could be truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> could things... actually... get... better... ??? *does not compute*


	17. Day 44 OHTHANKGODFINALLY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1) ok i lied about doing a bunch of writing T_T  
> 2) I know this chapter is short but i have another one half written i promise! DX  
> 3) HOLY SHIT I HIT 100 KUDOS HOLY HELL OH MY GOD THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH I AM IN UTTER AWE

Clean white bandages stood out starkly against Frisk’s skin. Their hands were among the ranks of the injured, so they were forced to speak aloud rather than sign through their anxiety and fear. They were seated at the table in their home with Toriel- their mother taking the seat at the head. Sans sat across from them along one of the longer sides of the table.

“Frisk… I know you have not been… well, lately. And Sans has told me some things-“ Frisk’s panicked eyes darted to the nervously sweating skeleton across from them- “but he did not say much. And… I wish to hear things from you, my child. I care very much about you- as does Sans, and Papyrus, and all of your friends. Whatever you are going through, we can help.” Frisk felt an awful, stabbing guilt in their stomach. Tears filled their eyes and they bowed their head to hide them, drawing their knees against their chest and muttering something under their breath. 

“what was that, kiddo? didn’t quite catch what you said there.” Sans broke in, resting his skull on his hands, elbows digging into the tabletop.

They raised their face, wet, awful tears streaming freely down their cheeks. “I said… you won’t want to help once I tell you.” They sniffled, not registering the concerned glance that passed between their two companions.

“My dear… whatever is the matter, we will love you no matter what-“

“No!” Frisk (weakly) slammed their hands down on the table, only to bury their face in their hands a moment later. Muffled sobs could be heard through the barrier of human and clothing. Both Toriel and Sans flinched at the outburst. To see such a reticent child lash out in such a way was alarming to say the least. Before either could say anything, Frisk was speaking again, straightening their back and staring into the distance as if reliving something they never wished to remember.  
“Sans… you know… about determination. About the saves. The reloads.” They paused to look over at him- his grin was tight and wary. A quiet nod from Toriel confirmed that she too had some knowledge of the subject. “That’s not all… not all that determination can do. There’s something called… a reset. It means exactly-“ they paused to cough weakly and clear their throat- “exactly what you would think.”

“With saves, I could only go back to the last moment where my determination was strong enough. When I was on my journey, I… I grew tired. I didn’t want to go on anymore. I had been killed so many times, and now I would be forced to battle Da-Asgore- and for what?” They scoffed bitterly through their tears. “I rested in a bedroom in New Home. There were two beds. I was lying on one, when… I saw someone appear on the other.”

“They looked almost like me… but paler. Ghostlike. Their name was Chara… and they said they wanted to help.”

Toriel’s eyes widened and her trembling paws tensed unseen beneath the table. Sans stiffened, quickly connecting the child he had seen underground with the one Frisk had just described.

“I… was crying. They said… that I shouldn’t have to do this. That everyone only wanted to hurt me. That it wasn’t fair. That I didn’t d-deserve this. I was tired and alone. They said that they would protect me. That they were the only one who really... cared.”

“They said that all they needed was a- a body. That… that they were just a restless soul. That I could rest, recover, while they took charge.”

“They told me that I had the power to go back to the beginning of it all and start over- if I was determined enough.”

“I accepted their offer.” Sans’ pupils went from dim to dark. Toriel swiftly brought a paw to her mouth. Frisk was shaking, breath coming in jolting gasps. They felt their sins crawling on their back. 

“It- it was… the worst mistake…” They took in a shuddering breath. “That I have ever made.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> backstory yaaay


	18. Still Day 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what is this?? my old updating schedule?? will i stick to this every other day thing? who knows???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is late and i am tired- if i missed any errors please tell me! ive already corrected so many spelling mistakes... T.T
> 
> i think i might actually have an idea of an endgame for this fic :o

Sans watched in muted horror as his best friend broke down in front of him. From the sound of it, they hadn’t even reached the climax of their story, but already he was desperately afraid for them. They had been battered, bruised, and abandoned. And where had he been? Off sitting on his bony ass, drinking ketchup without a care in the world? He had promised to protect them, and oh, how he had failed. 

He hated himself even more than usual in that moment, which was saying something.

He looked over at Toriel- would she comfort them?- but she was too distressed, too apprehensive of what was next to react appropriately. Hesitantly, Sans got up and made his way to the other side of the table, pulling up a chair next to the distraught child and taking their hand in his. His thumb drew circles on the back of their hand almost automatically, and they relaxed minutely at the consoling gesture. After a moment, though, they pulled away as if burned- as if they didn’t deserve the comfort he was offering. 

"S-sans... you can't... I… I’ve done..." They shuddered violently. Sans stopped himself from responding, biting back his protests and waiting patiently, anxiously, for them to continue.

"When I woke up again on that bed of flowers, I felt... stronger. I could hear them in my head- another voice, guiding me, telling me how to protect myself. The- the first time I..." they trailed off and Sans felt his metaphorical stomach drop. _oh, frisk- no. no._ He was alarmed to see them staring at their own upturned hands with such despair and revulsion. "I felt... so, so awful- I hated it, I h-hated how the-" Sans was becoming increasingly worried. Frisk was falling to pieces, dredging up shit that probably shouldn't be talked about if they wanted to keep their now evident PTSD in check. They were crying more than he had ever seen them cry before, and their hands trembled like leaves in a hurricane. They couldn't even breathe properly, fluctuating between short sharp gasps and heaving, shuddering inhalations.

"frisk- maybe you should-" He started, hesitantly, afraid to incense them further. Instead, his words seemed to fill them with a newfound determination, steeling them to forge ever onwards.

"The dust clung to my hands. I couldn't get it off, not ever. I was so scared, but that's no excuse- no excuse for the sins i committed. I m-murdered EVERYONE. After the first time I- I hurt someone, Chara had a hold in me that they didn't before. They would make me hit a little harder, a little faster, even though I didn't want to- I didn't want to, I swear, and by the time M-Toriel tried to stop us..."

Frisk clenched their fists tightly. 

_oh, shit. frisk..._

"Chara was in control."

_i'm so sorry._

A muffled sob reminded Sans that Toriel was in fact in the room with them. _Of course- what mother wouldn't react in horror upon learning what her child had become?_ He had been thinking of Chara, but after a moment of contemplation he supposed the same applied to Frisk. Sans' bones were rattling, a faint clicking noise serving as a background for the macabre tale the kid was weaving. Frisk seemed to be in their own world now, deaf to their surroundings and plowing resolutely on with their story. Not even their typical desire to sign in stressful situations was surfacing- though he supposed that their bandaged hands would be a bit of an impediment. "I think that they were affecting me from the very first moment I... fell down. I used t-to have nightmares all the time on the surface, and there were... other things. When I fell, all that got... tucked away, as if someone had swept it under a rug. I guess that someone was Ch-Chara. But... they needed my consent to really take control. And I j-just g-gave it t-to them. I was still... there. I was watching from the background, crying out to s-someone- anyone- to help me, to fix the mistake I had made."

"B-But they all fell, one by one."

"Somehow, at the end, before Cha-they could erase everything that had ever or w-would ever exist- the truest of all resets- I was determined enough to cast them out. They were unhappy, t-to say the least, but I think they were waiting for me to run back to them. To give them permission to take charge. That was the o-only reason they kept protecting me."

"Once I got to the surface, their barriers fell away. First came the nightmares of dying- and it hurts, s-so much-" Their hand unconsciously rubbed at a spot on their stomach. "But then... I started to remember... the t-time with Chara."

They looked imploringly at Sans, and a spark of some deep-rooted dread awoke deep in his bones. "Dont you see? I don't deserve this life i have. And... I’m a coward. I always have been. I can't..." They choked out a sob. "I can't live with what I did- what I allowed to happen."

Their voice dropped to a shattered whisper that would have been inaudible if not for the utter silence in the room. "On days like this, kids like me..."

Sans’ eye flashed blue for a brief moment- a dreg of a memory pulled out of time, of golden halls and blinding blasts of hate and bitter sorrow, searing tile and skin, knocking the grinning figure before him into a volley of stabbing bones. Of deep, sticky crimson, splattered everywhere and anywhere. He winced- both at the content of the flashback and at the splitting headache that accompanied it. _oh, god. oh, fucking-_

Finally, Toriel spoke. "My child..." Frisk turned to the motherly monster, their posture slumped and defeated. "This... this is not your fault. You were afraid, and I- we- did not protect you as we should have. And for that..." Toriels voice wavered, threatening to break into the sobs she had managed to tame only minutes before. "I am truly sorry. But... you must not blame yourself. You accepted help from whoever gave it to you, and that is... understandable. We have all done things we regret, Frisk. No matter your past decisions, or what they led to, I still love you."

There was a moment of silence before Frisk burst into a fresh wave of tears. This time, Toriel was ready, instantly rising to pull the shivering, sobbing bundle into her arms. Though they didn’t return the embrace, Sans noticed that neither did they pull away.

It wasn’t much, but it was something, and with Frisk the way they were, Sans would take what he could get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now now frisk  
> i thought we agreed on no more secrets  
> i wonder if anyone can guess what it is...?


	19. Day ???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :D  
> (sorry it took so long motivation is very hard)
> 
> also if anyone didnt know, i have a garbage sansby oneshot on here as well (not really sansby... hm. its odd. i plan on rewriting it when this fic is done.) if you like my writing or something??? idk

Golden light filtered gently through the arched windows, catching the specks of dust that puffed into the air with every step they took.

It was a beautiful day outside.

Frisk sobbed quietly in the corner of their own mind, knowing what would come next. This was Chara’s 43rd attempt to eliminate the last monster that could feasibly stop them. Every time, they died smiling, flesh crumbling to ash and blood spilling from punctured lungs. Every time, they moved a little too slow, jumped a little too high, turned a little too late. Every time, Chara got farther and farther into the battle- memorizing his attacks, swaying with the deadly patterns in a dance that no one was left to see.

It would have been impressive if Frisk hadn’t wanted nothing more than for Sans to win.

Sans _had_ to win- except that he couldn’t. Not when his opponent was a filthy little cheater.

Frisk’s only hope was that Chara would get frustrated and give up. However, they knew that the chances of that happening were slim- Chara was determined, and they were relishing in the first real challenge they’d had in years. This was exhilarating to them- every moment wasted was a moment closer to yet another untimely death.

Frisk had stayed curled in on themselves throughout the fight, trapped in their mind and hiding from the carnage around them, until something… odd happened.

Sans stopped.

He was… sparing… them? A jolt of determination coursed through them, and they strained to regain control of their body, to accept this undeserved mercy. 

_Oh, Frisk. You wish to spare this utter sack of garbage? Do you honestly believe that he will grant you pardon for what you have done?_ They shivered at the sound of Chara’s voice echoing in their thoughts, unheard by the sweating skeleton across the hall. Still, they had to try. Tutting disappointedly at Frisk's naivety and foolishness, Chara loosened their control for the first time, and Frisk gasped as the sensation of existing flooded through them. They weren’t stupid- they knew that Chara would just reload a save if Sans didn’t force them to. They knew that Chara was using this as a lesson, to teach them that in this world, it was kill or be killed. Still… 

They refused to believe Chara’s claims that Sans would betray them.

He wouldn't.

The bravery of their friend in his last stand filled them with determination.

It wasn’t enough to overwrite Chara’s save, but it was enough that they fell to their knees of their own accord, babbling on that it wasn’t them, that they were possessed, that he had to help them, _please_. He wordlessly held his arms out for a hug.

Frisk ran forward, burying their face in the fluff that lined the hood of his jacket.

Their body jerked, and for a moment, they didn’t know why. Then the pain hit- awful, unbearable agony as bones erupted from the ground and skewered them like meat on a kebab.

The last thing they heard was Sans’ voice.

“Nice try, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its short... dreams dont last too long :I and yes i actually do intend on uploading the next chapter today or tomorrow since this is only 500 words... i must... stay... determined!
> 
> also! ik that this dream is formatted differently but thats just because its its own chapter and theres nothing for it to be separated from. if you think it would look better the other way, just tell me ^_^
> 
> if you notice any errors anywhere, pls comment! i am a tired writer with not enough coffee to sustain me


	20. Day 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its ridiculous how much i forget what ive already written and have to reread this entire fic. if you notice me reuse a sentence or something pls let me know T_T
> 
> im writing this to avoid my physics homework would sans be proud or ashamed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> emotionally vulnerable sans anyone?

Frisk launched themselves out of bed and away from the skeleton sleeping next to them. Their movement roused Sans and it only took him a moment before he realised what was happening, reaching out desperately to calm them. In some logical corner of their brain, they knew that Sans would never in a million years hurt them in this timeline, but all their panic-filled mind could focus on was getting the hell away from the immediate threat. A strangled yell escaped them as they leapt, swiftly backing themselves into a corner and hyperventilating as they curled into a small ball-o’-frisk and whimpered, bracing themselves for the inevitable death (and accompanying anguish.) Their vision tunneled, black smudging at the edges like Onionsan’s ink as their head began to swim. Dimly, they heard a voice calling out to them. For a moment, all they heard was the bitter hatred and unnerving hum of charging blasters, and they froze in terror as the bony hands wrapped around their throat, crushing their windpipe-

A familiar weight settled itself around their shoulders, and the sensation of angry hands dissipated, replaced by the reassuring feeling of boney fingers carding gently trough their hair. Gradually, they recovered, tugging the jacket tighter around them and burying their face in the fur-

_bones erupted from the ground and skewered them like meat on a kebab-_

They cried out, recoiling back and smacking their head against the wall. _I don’t want to die, please, oh god please it want me, I’m sorry, please, just-_

“frisk!” Sans’ shout snapped them out of their haze. They hadn’t realized that they had been speaking aloud, and they were surprised to see… tear streaks?? Down his pale face. His bones were rattling, and he seemed to be at a loss for what to do. His hands hovered in front of him, obviously reluctant to touch them in this state of fear. Taking a calming breath, they reached out tentatively, relaxing minutely when his hand grasped theirs. Slowly, as not to startle them, he lowered himself to the floor. There the two sat, letting the minutes tick by as Frisk gradually came down from their panic attack, slumping into Sans when the exhaustion hit. Their tongue felt like lead in their mouth, but…  
If they didn’t tell him now, they didn’t know if they’d find the courage again.

It had been six days since the Grand Reveal, and Sans had taken to spending the nights with Frisk as their nightmares persisted. Usually, he was able to calm them down quickly, but…

This nightmare was the worst of them all.

They’d had dreams like it, snippets of the true hell they had brought down upon themselves, but this was the first time they had seen in vivid detail what had truly led them to reset.

“Sans…” they whispered. He quickly directed his attention to what they were about to say. “There’s… one more thing. The real r-reason why I was able to… to r-reset after…” His arms tightened comfortingly around them.

“You.” They felt him freeze, sensed the exact moment that he put two and two together- realizing, surely, that he’d been responsible for more of their deaths then they’d like to count.

“oh, _fuck_.” They were taken aback at how… broken he sounded. Glimmering blue tears plopped softly down onto their linked hands.

“If… if you hadn’t been s-so strong, I never… I wouldn’t have g-gotten my chance. B-but…” They froze up, memories of that battle paralyzing them until they shook their head to discard the unwanted thoughts. “When Ch- _they_ finally got far enough in- into the battle, you… offered mercy.” And oh, Frisk _knew_ that Sans knew. The way he seemed to have just… stopped, like a toy without batteries. Glancing up at him, their stomach sunk to see that his eye sockets were hollowed voids of grief and despair. “They l-let me take control, as a… as a l-lesson. That in this world, it's k-kill or... or b-be k-killed.” Their stutter worsened as they continued. “I tried t-to tell y-y-you that it w-wasn’t me, b-but…”

Frisk buried their face in their hands. 

Sans remained deathly still.

“When y- when I… died… I realized h-how st-strong you w-were. I hadn’t really… known, b-before. I was… hiding. Away from it all. B-but… being k-k-killed, as me, not as… as them, just made me more determined, and that extra determination was just enough. The fact that their d-determination was still lingering within me as they w-watched, and… and laughed… the fact that you would d-die h-hating me...

I drew on their determination, adding it to mine. I needed to f-fix everything. I had to try. I reset.”

They coughed weakly, their voice hoarse from a combination of their screaming and the story they had told.

“The reset took me back to b-before I… accepted t-their offer. They were… really mad, but they couldn’t do anything as just a ghost. And that… led me to here.”

For the first time, Sans reacted, suddenly removing his arms from around them and burying his face in his hands. His voice shook as he spoke. “shit, k-kid, i… i’m sorry. i’m so fucking s-sorry. for all of this, and for… god, i could have helped you! i could have w-worked with you to banish that piece of shit, if I had only…” He was stopped by a paler-than-normal hand papping his cheek gently.

“No. They had k-killed…” they trailed off, unable to say the name. “You couldn’t have known.”

He sighed. “doesn’t mean i shouldn’t have protected you more from the very start. i’m sorry, frisk.” He paused, then said, “any more heavy secrets weighing on you? Anything else I should know?” He seemed almost apprehensive of their response, but breathed a sigh of relief when they shook their head. “good. that’s good. look. we’ll work through this nightmare thing, ok? together. turning yourself over to that demon isn’t the answer.” They shifted awkwardly at that. “what?”

“Actually, I… u-um… that w-wasn’t originally why I went back down there.”

“then why, kid? we were all looking for you-“ His eyes widened. “oh, shit. no.”

Their eyes welled with tears. “I c-couldn’t deal with the- the guilt, and… hurting… myself only did s-so much. It reminded me that I w-was… me. And… I deserved it… I st-still do…” their right hand came up to absentmindedly scratch at the bandages on their wrist. Toriel hadn’t mentioned it, but they knew she knew what the marks were. They reaaally didn’t want to have this conversation twice… _maybe Sans will tell her for me…_

“frisk.” Sans’ hand gently but firmly grabbed their own, pulling it away from the other arm. He sounded… serious, almost, but still like himself. Still this timeline's Sans- their Sans. “you never have, and never will, deserve any pain you or others put you through. you’re our hero, buddy, even if you made a poor decision or two along the way. it wasn’t your fault. and you definitely don’t deserve to die. kid… if you died, we’d all be… well…” He chuckled uncomfortably, swiping away a fresh set of stray teardrops. “please, bud, just… don’t. we love you. i love you, and i’m here for you if you need me. just… we’ll work through this thing together, alright? i’m not the most helpful skeleton, i know, but… please, promise me you’ll talk to me whenever you feel like that.”

They hesitated.

“…okay.” Their response was quiet, like a faded echo of a gentle breeze, but Sans heard it. They felt their soul shine just a tiny bit brighter as he smiled- genuinely smiled- at them, and then proceeded to shortcut them to the bed (it was four feet away! Frisk wasn’t sure that was entirely necessary) before pulling them into a protective hug. They fell asleep that way, feeling strangely lighter than they had in months.

They had no more nightmares that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good job frisk  
> opening up is Good For The Soul


	21. Day 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM A DAY LATE AHHHHHH IM SORRY REAL LIFE GOT IN THE WAY but ill definitely keep working on this! and hopefully updating more than i did this week... i have a plan :3
> 
> alSO HUGE FUCKING SHOUTOUT TO SoulRipperAdri FOR FINDING MY ERRORS THROUGHOUT THIS STORY

\--  
**yo alphys**  
**can me and the kid come over tomorrow**  
**need to use the lab for a few things**

Ummm?? I mean?? Yes! I don't know why?? But I guess that's not important! So!

**thanks a skele-ton**  
**ill tell you when i see you**  
\-- 

Nearly 24 hours later, Alphys was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. She had, in typical Alphys fashion, neglected to do any tidying whatsoever until the last possible moment, choosing instead to lose herself in her newest anime. She had just swept the last chisp packet under the couch when the hollow, clacking sound of bones against metal reverberated from her front door. "C-coming!" She scurried over, adjusting her glasses on her nose as she let the two in. Sans was smiling, as per usual, but Frisk looked haggard and beyond exhausted- a stark contrast to how they had looked the last time she had seen them. Although she didn't know for sure what was going on, she knew that something was wrong, and that Frisk hadn't seen anyone except Sans (and Toriel, but they lived with her) until today. "U-um, hi!" 

********

"heya." Although he was grinning, a serious edge tinged his words, and he moved in a way that was more business than casual. Frisk signed a tired "hello" and stuck close to the skeleton's side.

********

"S-so, um, F-Frisk... are you... um? Areyouokay??" She rushed her sentence, stumbling awkwardly around the question because Frisk was obviously not "ok" right now. 

********

Sans glanced at them for permission, then spoke for them. "They need help. I need to do a scan of their soul. I'm guessing you have the equipment I need?" She nodded, leading them mover to what looked like a chrome shower stall. 

********

"J-just, let me turn it on, and then y-you just- Frisk j-just needs to, uh, step inside. You probably know, um, what t-to do from there?" He nodded, switching seamlessly into his scientist mode- a demeanor she hadn't seen on him in more years than she could remember offhand. After squeezing their hand reassuringly, he guided Frisk into the machine, fiddling with dials and buttons and inputting commands on the touchscreen. Logically, he shouldn't be able to do that, but Alphys had created the screens to respond to claws, and she supposed that bones were pretty close. 

********

The machine hummed quietly, glowing a faint red as it activated the child's soul. Souls were precious beyond belief- they contained the emotions, memories, and identity of the being it belonged to. A display flickered to life, zooming in on different sections of the dull red heart. Alphys stood awkwardly to the side, not wanting to intrude. Sans sucked in a breath through his teeth, hissing with displeasure. "hey alph. you wanna know what's up with frisk? come take a look at this." She hurried over, nervously adjusting her glasses as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing. 

********

"w-what's... what's w-wrong with f-frisk's s-soul?" Her voice squeaked at the end of her worry- filled question. It looked... corrupted. Tendrils of black swirled languidly beneath its glassy surface, and it seemed to be divided in half- black leeching from one side into the other. 

********

Sans sighed heavily. "frisk has determination. the kid has so much that they could mess with time to achieve their goals. the thing is... time could only be altered backwards, and only if they were determined enough... or if they died. turns out that monsters don't really like leaving human kids alone. they ended up letting a demon possess them to protect them from the monsters that had hurt them. they started over from the beginning of their adventure, and the demon used the kid's body to go on a killing spree... but frisk took back control, and they ended up here. the demon corrupted their soul with trauma and guilt and fear. think flashbacks and horrible nightmares... so bad that they think they're back in the underground, reliving the worst moments of their journey.. it's..." he broke off, looking worried, then started again. "it's really messing with them. i need to find a way to help them."

********

Alphys was reeling from this revelation... but then her thoughts went back to a particular moment in the underground-

********

_The child was being quizzed by Mettaton. She felt a bit bad that she was lying to them, but..._

********

_there was no way someone like them would ever be friends with someone like her unless she became as heroic as they were._

********

_Still, they were very good at this. It didn't even seem like they needed her hints! Although they were sure to be as dramatic as possible to appease the robot, it was almost as if they knew the questions before he even asked them._

********

She promised herself that she could freak out about all this later, when her help wasn't direly needed.

********

"U-uh... w-well... we s-should be able t-to- to remove, uh, remove the corruption. It won't b-be easy, b-but it should d-definitely be p-possible." Sans slumped with relief over the control panel, saving the scans and data before remotely opening the door. Frisk yawned as they left the machine, letting themselves be guided as Alphys tugged them along to her couch and set them up with a soft blanket, season 2 of the Little Mew Mew Adventures! anime series, and a life sized body pillow of a cute anime girl with cat ears- fully clothed, thank you very much!

********

And if she DID happen to own any scantily clad anime body pillows, she certainly wouldn't keep them downstairs!

********

Alphys made a mental note to check the lock on her closet door before Undyne came over later.

********

Pushing aside any and all thoughts of anime, Alphys took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself to go into what Undyne called "Full Nerd Mode."

********

They had work to do.

********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alphys you weeb  
> she doesnt use the pillows for anything dirty  
> she just thinks theyre super attractive


	22. Day 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so.   
> exams + increasing real-life issues means this is like a day late T_T im so sorry i really need to be better at this  
> but im a bit past a certain roadblock so ill try to get a chapter up in like 3 days

Sans was impressed by how well Alphys was taking this. She hadn't had a meltdown, like he had feared she would. Her claws had begun to tremble, yes, but she'd managed to reign in her panic- which he was grateful for, as he had a friend to save, and he needed all the help he could get.

From what Alphys had told him, after his elaboration as to the nature of the "demon"- that had shocked her a bit, but she'd seen stranger- Chara had filled in the space that they used to occupy in Frisk's soul. Wherre Chara had once resided, they had poured out all the trauma, guilt, fear, and memories that they had stowed away during their journeys. With a bit of their own warped determination, they had let it grow once they had left- spawning a sea of negativity that threatened to overtake Frisk entirely.

He shuddered at the thought of what Frisk had to be going through.

It was no wonder they had taken to hurting themselves, seeking simultaneously control, punishment, and release from this essence of evil pumping through their delicate, human veins.

Luckily, with a bit of work, they should theoretically be able to remove the taint from their soul, using an extractor to differentiate between the two different strands of Determination. The memories would remain, but the accentuated emotions would not, and they would become less potent to Frisk. Still enough to bother them, but nothing that love- not LOVE- couldn't help them through.

And to think that just a few days ago Sans hadn't seen a way out of this.

Machines whirred around him, calculating and analysing and perfoming all sorts of mathematical wonders to help them on their way. Though he hated to disturb them, Sans walked over to Frisk, lab coat fluttering behind him as he approached. They appeared to be half lucid, watching some animated show with far too much pink and far too many hearts.

"hey, kiddo. i need you to come over here for me, ok? we need to start this process as soon as possible, and we're gonna need to take a closer look at your soul. but, uh... i don't want you freaking out, so..." They blinked at him in confusion before their gaze fell to the small pills he was offering them. "they're sedatives. they wont hurt you- i promise- they'll just put you to sleep while we work. you don't have to take them, though. it's your choice, bud." After a moment's hesitation, they carefully took the pills from his hand, dry-swallowing them with a slight grimace. "hey, don't worry- these things make sleeping so easy, you could do it with your eyes closed." The pun did its job- they laughed quitely, and the tension left their body as they gave in to the allure of sleep. Carefully, carefully, he picked them up, cradling them in his arms as he laid them down on a small rolling gurney. Alphys hustled over, clipboard in one hand and a multitude of empty syringes in the other. 

"Uh, r-ready?" Her voice seemed overly loud in the lab, even against the background noise of the equipment and the television that he'd accidentally forgotten to turn off.

"yeah." He took a breath- then exhaled, eye brimming with magic as he withdrew the human's soul from their body. Alphys' hands were surprisingly steady as she gently took a small sample of determination directly from the soul- wincing as they both sensed Frisk's hp drop just a tad. "s-sorry!" she whispered frantically. She seemed reluctant to continue, but Sans nodded grimly at her, and she apprehensively moved to the other side of the soul, carefully pricking the side that the black was leeching from.

The syringe itself now contained an ominous swirling substance, darker and more sluggish than the cherry-red contents of the first. Sans lowered their soul back into their chest and immediately fetched them a bad of popato chisps, ready for whenever the sedatives wore off- if they even needed the food at that point. With how deeply asleep Frisk was, their hp might just regenerate on its own. Sans felt a bit guilty- he'd technically given them a larger and stronger dose than they had actually needed- but though the medicine was rare, Frisk was in desperate need of undisturbed sleep, and the pills should grant them exactly that.

Back to the couch Frisk was carried, tucked in snugly with a multitude of absurdly soft blankets. Alphys was already analyzing the two different syringes, securing them in place in yet another scientific machine that looked a bit too much like the ones G-

_No._

_Absolutely not._

Sans pushed all memories of _him_ out of his mind, clearing his head and joining Alphys at her station, once more engulfed in the work he'd sworn never to take up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are things... is that... is that hope i sense?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> should i demolish it?


	23. Day 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this fic has hit 20,000 words! hooray! looking back, i wonder if my writing has changed throughout this? hm...
> 
> also, its actually rather annoying to write alphys' speech with all the added stuttering- i have to imagine where i would stumble or stutter. imsorryiloveyoualphy

To say Alphys was nervous would be an understatement.

A massive understatement.

Frisk themselves was sleeping soundly, pulled deeper than usual into the blackness by the drugs Sans had insisted on. They’d slept through the day and night, and weren’t likely to wake up for another few hours at least.

Alphys hadn’t been exaggerating when she had explained to Sans how strong they were.

Frisk’s soul was a LOT more… contaminated… than she had originally accounted for. If it had been just a bit more Frisk and a bit less Not, the whole operation should have gone rather smoothly- all her time holed up in her True Lab had led to her greatly expanding her knowledge on artificial determination. She had only wanted to prevent her awful mistakes from ever happening again, but it turned out that theoretically, the darkness could be removed from Frisk’s soul and quickly replaced with artificial determination.

Theoretically.

Sans was grinning tightly- she’d learned to read his facial expressions a bit more, and he seemed to be a tad more expressive lately- down at the papers she had just handed him.

Her tail twitched at an alarming speed.

His voice was low and strained, as if only through great restraint could he speak without outburst. “so… what **exactly** is this saying?”

 _Ohno ohno he’s angry, why do I have to tell him, ohno…. He’s going to hate me, he’s going to HATE me, he’s going to_ \- a hollow snap wrenched her out of her internal panic and she was surprised to see Sans’ hand outstretched in front of her face, boney fingers poised to fingersnap again if needed. He looked… almost concerned. He definitely looked less like he wanted to destroy her entire lab just for the hell of it.

She supposed that was a good thing.

“U-uhm, r-right- basically, Frisk’s s-soul is, uh, a t-tiny little bit less F- less, uh, Frisk than it is- um-” She looked at him helplessly. 

“chara,” he supplied grimly.

“Y-yes. Chara. O-or at least, Chara’s, um, residue? I’d s-say the contaminant is- um, i-it takes up about… 52% of the, uh, soul. Which m-means that if w-we remove that and, replace it, with uncorrupted, f-fresh determination, d-determination that isn’t F-frisk’s and hasn’t been w-weakened by, uh, fighting f-for dominance…”

Sans’ eyes dimmed, reflecting his trepidation and bewilderment. “what would happen?”

Tears sprung unbidden to her eyes, and she angrily berated herself for this display of weakness. _Frisk is in trouble! You can't help them if you're being a big, loser, baby!_ “U-um, well, th-the only two, umm, f-feasible outcomes are Frisk... n-not being Frisk anymore- I d-don’t know what they’d b-be like, a-and they’d p-probably l-lose their memories- or, or…” She couldn’t continue- she just **couldn’t.** The image of Frisk, dripping, gelatinous and squelching across the floor like some sick plasma-based facsimile of her friend, filled her mind.

She could almost hear their shuddering gasps and groans of pain as their body turned to slush, unable to handle that much foreign determination in their system. She knew they were strong, she knew they were kind- and that was possibly what killed her the most- the knowledge that they wouldn’t blame her. They would try so very, very hard to remain strong through it all, even as their body fell apart on a molecular level.

Alphys didn’t think she would be able to stop herself a second time.

Sans was confused at first, looking at her most likely traumatised expression with utter bafflement. She whimpered almost inaudibly, hiding her face behind her trembling claws.

She could tell the moment he realised, his smile quickly dropping into the first frown she had ever seen on his face. He glanced over at the near-comatose child, as if reassuring himself that they were still there and not puddling into the couch as they spoke.

His eyes were dark. “we can’t do that. is there another way?”

She closed her eyes, trying oh so very hard to hold onto the last shred of hope that they had.

“I… I d-don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stop yourself from what alphys  
> wow its like i enjoy exploring all my characters hidden issues and demons  
> ohwaitido
> 
> please have mercy on me


	24. Day 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello, i am back! 
> 
> have some totally real 100% verified science  
> confirmed by experts
> 
>  
> 
> 100%

“so…”

Sans felt a pang of sympathy for Alphys as she raised her weary head to meet his gaze. The soft scales under her spectacle-clad eyes were tinged grey, and the glasses themselves were encrusted with dirt and grime from a solid day and a half of work. She blinked once, shaking her head in an obvious attempt to do what the caffeine from a frankly alarming amount of “Mountain Dew” was failing at.

Sans had nearly killed the lizard-esque monster with the sheer hilarity of his puns when he had learned of her new favourite soda’s name.

“Y-yes?” Her mouth stretched open wide in a yawn that she didn’t even bother to conceal- they were both far too exhausted to care.

He stretched languidly, magic rippling up his spine, crackling as the unnatural joints clicked and popped. “i’m not getting why frisk would… melt… in the first place. i dunno about you, but i was under the impression that that sort of thing only happened to monsters.”

“O-oh! Uh, well, Frisk is- uh, their d-determination is… w-weak. There’s only a b-bit less th-than half of, um…. Their own orig-original d-determination l-left? A-and, the artificial d-determination is… p-powerful… added t-together, they wouldn’t b-be able to h-handle it…” She fidgeted awkwardly, turning an empty can over and over in her clawed hands. “The m-monsters… melted… b-because our b-bodies are, umm, m-mostly magic? So what affects the s-soul affects the, um, the b-body as well… But, for h-humans, their b-bodies are- are m-much m-more physical. B-but… Frisk is already p-pushing the li-limits of m-magical c-capacity- since d-determination is… sort of li-like our ma-magic. I’ve d-done the research, and th-their s-soul would m-most likely, uhm… st-start attempting to c-convert their physical m-matter into- into m-magical e-energy in order t-to fend off and m-merge with the n-new d-determination… a-and the a-artificial determination would j-just… m-make things w-worse?”

_shit._

He sighed, slumping over the infinite multitude of papers and journals on the counter in front of him. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. Sans thought bitterly to himself that in all honesty, he would have been extraordinarily surprised had things actually decided to go in their favour for once. His life- as well as Frisk’s- seemed to follow an unfortunate trend of bad luck and worst case scenarios. From the sound of it, they were lucky that Frisk’s soul was even holding out at this point- and that it wasn’t yet nothing but a shell of its former self, brimming with an otherworldly hatred and determination.

wait a minute-

_shell-_

Sans’ eyes flickered on, bright white sparks of shock catching the light and reflecting it onto the empty leaf of paper before him as he swiftly magicked a stubby pencil into his hand. In the back of his mind, he thought that Alphys’ habit of gnawing on every writing utensil she owned was a bit gross, but then again- many would say the same about his ketchup drinking habits. Alphys turned to him, curious at his sudden fit of inspiration, and he began to talk as he sketched- outlining the bare bones of a plan that might be just the thing they needed to save Frisk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the sheer hilarity = "S-sans, oh m-my g-god? Th-that's so b-bad, AUGH" 
> 
> poor alphys
> 
>  
> 
> did you catch my pun  
> i feel proud  
> my real life friends tell me ive become more punny since getting into undertale


	25. Day 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh real life got in the way again imsosorry T_T but never fear, i do intend to finish this! in fact, i think we may be quickly approaching the end......
> 
>  
> 
> *waggles eyebrows inappropriately*

It was a beautiful day outside.

Frisk, to their own surprise, seemed to be having a rather okay day after awaking from their unnervingly long, drug induced sleep. A gentle breeze felt nice against their skin, and they sighed lightly as they leaned against the sturdy oak they were picnicking under with the armless Monster Kid. With all of the drama that had swamped their life on the surface, this was one of the rare occasions in which Frisk got to simply enjoy the company of one of their new friends. The two were taking a break from the sign language lesson Frisk was attempting to give MK- an overflowing basket of homemade goodies had been unloaded onto a hand knit blanket that Toriel had sent along with the food. A small, vibrantly crimson bird hopped along the ground, pecking persistently at the crumbs that two children are wont to leave behind. They sat in silence, MK quietly nibbling at the sandwich in front of them. Both watched as the avian intruder hopped once, twice- then took to the sky, flapping with determination as it rose above the treetops. 

Frisk tapped MK's shoulder lightly, hesitating to break the aura of calmness and content that rested over them. Eventually, though, their curiosity won out. [MK... do you wish you had arms?] It took the yellow-shirted monster child a moment to work out what Frisk had said, but once they did, their face took on a rather pensive expression. 

"Huh... you know, I used to want arms. I thought that I couldn't ever be an awesome warrior if I couldn't even hold a spear. But... now I know that you don't need to be like everyone else to be cool, yo!! Undyne only has one eye! And Papyrus doesn't even really beat anyone up!! Not all the way, at least. But they're both cool, and I have cool things too- like my tail! I can do all sorts of cool stuff with my tail. And my magic finally came in!" Frisk cocked their head at that, signing the word for magic with an accompanying furrowed brow. "Yo, don't you know? Every monster has magic! It shows up when you're a kid, usually- I just got mine! It's super cool! Do you want to see?" Frisk, seeing how excited their friend was to show off their new skill, and being genuinely interested in magic, was happy to oblige. A quick nod was all it took for MK to scramble to their feet, trotting a few yards away from the tree side picnic. 

Their eyes fluttered shut as their tail drew circles in the air. At first, Frisk didn't notice anything out of the ordinary- until their ears picked up on the faint hum of raw magic energy being converted into the yellow sparks of electricity that were quickly converging into a crackling orb in front of MK's face. Their eyes flew open as they sent the ball rocketing into the sky where it exploded into a shower of glittering sparks not unlike a fireworks display. A scent of lemon and ozone wafted down along with the gentle rain of electric embers. MK eagerly awaited Frisk's response, and as they attempted to calm their breathing- _electricity rained down on them as the chrome and magenta robot star laughed with confidence and charm-_ they smiled weakly, clapping at the show. "Isn't it great?? Yo, are you ok? Man, you don't look so good-" they stopped, staring at the now shaking Frisk with concern. 

They had been doing so well. It had been such a good day, and the narcotic effects of the sleeping pills had lingered, muffling their panic and fear- but it hadn't been enough. The terror raged, ripping through the shield of sleep and drugs to tighten its grip on Frisk's mind. They doubled over, choking out a sob as they waited, waiting for the blistering heat and searing pain that was sure to come from the lightning and bombs falling around them. 

Their vision began to tunnel as they hyperventilated, and the panicked shouts of their monster friend fell upon deaf ears as they slipped into unconsciousness once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also... i couldnt remember if i had started another chapter with "it was a beautiful day outside." if i have and managed to miss it, please let me know! thank :3


	26. Day 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is supershort becaaause  
> 1)i have the next chapter almost all written up!  
> 2) i needed a transitiony chapter- we seem to be near the end! this has been one hell of a ride, let me tell you.  
> 3) also because finals. i hate math. someone save me.

“...frisk?”

Frisk started at the voice, turning their head fast enough to nearly give themself whiplash. Sans was standing behind them, looking over the edge of the cliff Frisk was sitting on, their knees pulled to their chest and their arms wrapped securely around them. The wind nipped at their nose, and Sans shifted uncomfortably as Frisk stared out over the edge. 

“...kid, we’re working on it, i promise. we’ve almost got a solution, i-”

“it d-doesn’t change the fact that my life has become some b-bad tv d-drama, Sans… breaking down all the t-time… it’s exhausting.” Their voice was low and hollow. Sans suddenly came to an unsettling conclusion, and mentally pulled his magic to the surface, ready to drag them away from the precipice if need be. They looked infinitely done with… well, everything. 

Sans knew how they felt.

“Look. i came looking for you because i think we might have found a way to separate you from the… essence of Chara… in your soul. We just need to check a few things, run some numbers- cmon, buddy. I know it's tough, but so are you. We need you, kiddo- future of humans and monsters and all that, right? Heh. we won't give up on you that easy.”

A battle waged in their mind, reflected in their expression. Sans reached down to them, offering a soot-smudged hand. They seemed to come to a decision, and then- their face set itself, determined and unwavering. “That's it. Now, let's go do some soul science.”


	27. Day 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i did not edit this at all please forgive me i failed my precalc exam and im just all around tired and college options and things to do and stress and *screams*
> 
> ANYWHO on with the fanfiction

The procedure, hypothetically speaking, could work. The numbers checked out- barely- and Frisk was a willing participant. They sat shivering on the edge of the cold examination table, their huddled form barely protected by the flimsy paper gown they had no choice but to wear. Alphys was stuttering so badly that she had given up in her attempts to form a cohesive sentence. Frisk’s hands were trembling as they attempted to sign. Sans, as stoic and smiling as ever, was terrified.

If this went wrong, he would almost definitely lose his best friend.

He had, with the assistance of the brilliant-minded yellow lizard, created what could be considered a prosthetic soul- it was a clear casing, formed painstakingly of glass and magic into the heart-shape that all souls adopted. It had been fortified with complicated magical energy, designed to prevent accidental breakage (he couldn't do anything about Frisk getting hurt on their own, but at the very least the glass shell wouldn't shatter around the soul and injure it.) If all went well, Frisk’s determination would be extracted from the rest and placed in this shell. There it would replenish itself, eventually regaining its full strength in a way that would solidify it so that the casing was no longer necessary. 

There were so many things that could go wrong, but as Frisk swallowed a (smaller) dose of the drugs Sans had provided last time, and Alphys began strapping their prone form to the table, Sans pushed them out of his mind.

Frisk’s hand stretched out feebly from the restraint, grasping at Sans’. He tightly gripped their hand in his, pressing their foreheads together as Frisk lost consciousness.

He bleakly wondered if they would ever wake up after this.

Toriel, of course, had some idea of what they were planning to do, but Sans hadn't told her the full extent of the danger involved. If he had, she never would have allowed what happened next- Sans carefully pulled Frisk’s soul from their body, lifting it in front of him. His concentration was divided between holding the soul in place, keeping the casing hovering nearby, and performing his next task.

With bated breath, Sans reached out to the soul, seeping his magic into the heart and finding the divide between black and red. The grey in between recoiled violently in on itself, until the soul was half flickering, dimly lit red, and half slick, oily black.

He breathed in deeply.

1.

2.

3.

With a firm _yank_ , Sans tore the soul in two, ripping the black away from the red. On the bed, Frisk’s body lurched, and twin wails of agony tore free of both halves of the soul. He cringed, gasping as old memories and new ones assaulted his senses, and he felt the stab of regret like a knife to the ribs. Glaring warning lights and harsh beeping emitted from the machines that Alphys had attached to monitor Frisk’s condition. _fuck oh no oh god no please i can't lose them not now i can't-_

“SANS!” Alphys’ panicked shout jolted him into action, and he quickly sealed the writhing blackness in a metal box designed to contain whatever the hell sort of properties it posessed. Frisk’s determination was quickly fading, reduced to a formless mass of dying red. With a sense of urgency he’d never felt before, Sans placed the determination into the glass heart and sealed it shut. He waited anxiously for the determination to stabilise-

5 seconds

10 seconds

30 seconds

-and it wasn't stabilising, it just kept fading, and before he knew what he was doing Sans had brought the deepest vestiges of his magic to the surface and _pushed_ it through the glass, which had been designed to allow the effects of magic to seep through. He felt the magic draining out of him as he tried desperately to fortify the fading life force of the human he’d come to love. His vision began to blacken, and with one final surge, he slumped to the floor, having exhausted his magic once again.


	28. Day 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess whos back  
> back again  
> its me, and my fandom trash!  
> im currently on a vacation that im Not Happy about, but i found time- and motivation holy shit im impressed- to at least provide a small update. IM SORRY  
> i will try very HARD to update within a week but...  
> you know me.  
> *sigh* i will never make it as an adult i will live off of apple juice and crumbs

There were honestly only two words that adequately described how Alphys was feeling at this moment in time.

_Oh **fuck.**_

If you were to convert the (incredibly distressed) scientist's thoughts into words on a screen, you would see nothing but an ever increasing string of OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK scrolling across the page at an alarming velocity. After quickly glancing at Sans and determining that he wasn't in any sort of critical condition, Alphys dashed over to the very still body that lay prone on the examination table. "F-Frisk?!? O-oh god, ok, I-I c-can fix th-this, I-" 

Without warning, the lab went silent. The soul hovering over the child was shrouded in lingering traces of blue, and for one terrible, heart-stopping moment, Frisk appeared to be very much dead.

And then-

_beep._

_beep._

_beep._

Alphys burst into tears of relief as the heart monitor picked up the faint, yet reassuringly steady, beat of Frisk's heart. Their chest rose and fell as their fragile human form began doing what monster bodies could not- surviving and thriving without being in direct contact with the soul that piloted it.

The _soul._

Turning her attention to the glass heart hovering mere inches from her nose, Alphys tentatively reached out to clear away the remaining sparks of Sans' magic in order to assess the determination within. For some odd reason, the bluish white tinge stayed resolutely attatched to the glass-

wait.

WAIT.

If Alphys hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn't have believed it was possible. Logically, according to her research materials- and after her rather unfortunate experiences in the True Lab, there was no conceivable way that she didn't know them front to back- this should have been wholly unable to occur. And yet, somehow, some way, it seemed that Sans, in his determination to keep Frisk alive, had supplemented the magic of determination with the magic of monsters. Even as she watched, the cyan hue of the skeleton's power faded to white- the natural state of monster magic- and blended with the red of the determination, filling the glass shell with a warm, rosy pink.

Through her combined emotions of relief, amazement, and awe, Alphys wondered if maybe her books on magic and science were a tad outdated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im actually pretty worried about the reception for where i took this... :/ im hoping you guys don't hate it? ohgod. i am alphys ok


End file.
